Jyoti: The girl who fired up a nation

I don’t know if it has occurred to you, but each time we address her as Nirbhaya or Damini, or any of the other dreadful names coined by newspaper subs, we are doing the young lady disservice. Because buried under the pseudonym is the primitive belief, a belief that we actually want to get away from: That the rape victim’s identity must be protected to save her and her family embarrassment. This, when the nation is gradually coming around to accepting that there is NO shame for the victim or her family, the shame belongs entirely to the rapists and their families. In fact, it is the primitive thinking that discourages women from filing rape complaints, and this allows rapists to get away with it. We simply have to change the goalpost, so that more and more women seek justice, rather than cower at home. 

Am happy that Jyoti’s parents have changed that, even though it came three years late. The poor folks are still searching for justice and closure, the ‘juvenile’ assaulter will walk free this weekend, but at least their daughter shall be remembered and honoured by her real name.  

Is being creepy a crime?

We still don’t know all the facts of the Jiah Khan death case, perhaps we never will, this one looks like Aarushi Part 2. What seems to have been established so far is that it was suicide, not murder, and that the principal abettor of the suicide was one Suraj Pancholi. If convicted, the dude will be jailed for a few years, but that’s a long way off.

The point I want to make on this date is: Pancholi may have been a poor partner, a coward, a creep, an insensitive lout. And chaps such as these need to be dumped immediately. But can he really be charged with abetment? Is that fair? Relationships often don’t work out, couples uncouple, there is inevitably a degree of bitterness, and then life moves on. Now if Jiah was an overly sensitive soul, a fragile individual who completely fell apart as a result of the break-up and could not accept and deal with betrayal by a creep, and chose to kill herself, can the boyfriend be accused of abetment? Is that fair?

I don’t think so. Unless proved in a court of law that he encouraged her to commit suicide, he must be let off.  

A five minute journey that takes a lifetime

This little film from Conde Nast Traveller beautifully captures the India-Pakistan border crossing at Wagah. I had expressed similar sentiments in my diary published in Outlook earlier this year, but this is Fatima Bhutto, so she could cross the border, unlike common man me. Anyway, I like the way the film has been shot, must watch.

Click here.

PS: Am taking a break for Christmas and New Year. See you on the other side. Insha Allah.

Hum Chaar, Hamari Ek.

All eyes, groggy from the revellery of the night before, will be on Delhi on January 1. Because only vehicles carrying the odd number will be seen on the streets. I do not believe this scheme will work in the current scenario in India (read my previous post), but one thing is certain: A whole new revenue stream will open up for the local traffic cops, they are likely to be shaking to the Achhe Din jingle on 31^st night, unlike the rest of us.

Lots of debates have begun on the subject, as alarmed Dilliwallahs have been trying to put Plan B in place (which in most cases is the acquisition of the second car). And not just them, citizens in other large cities have been breathing uneasily, and not because of pollution; a copycat local neta might thrust this measure on his/her constituency. I was criticized (as usual) on my last post for being much too cynical (as usual) about Kejriwal’s idea to save Delhi’s children from death, and a few readers asked me to come up with a solution.

So here’s what I think: Even as we suss what happens when half the cars (allegedly) disappear from Delhi’s roads, governments in Mumbai, Bangalore, Chennai, Hyderabad and Kolkata must immediately begin working on another policy: One Family, One Car. Or as Sanjay Gandhi might have put it, Hum Chaar, Hamari Ek.

And so this is the best option in my view. No family can own multiple vehicles. The authorities will have to figure out a way to enforce this, and if they do manage to, three things will happen: One, people can drive out whenever they wish, without being at odds and ends. Two, it will dramatically reduce the number of private cars on the roads. And three, it will free up parking spots in public places as well as inside residential areas. Bachcha bachcha knows that parking wars in housing colonies were unheard of in the past, and the mess only began after each member of the family started boasting of a personal vehicle.  

What Sanjay baba could not achieve with human beings, let’s make it happen with machines. His disturbed soul will rest in peace.

(Image courtesy: Shutterstock.)

No one killed Noor Ullah

I am not sure if the judge gave this a thought: Complete acquittal of bhai in the hit, kill and run case would shock the nation’s conscience, and many would lose faith in the judiciary. And that it would reaffirm public’s belief, that if you have the big bucks, you can manipulate the ‘system’. It’s possible the judge took the principle of ‘beyond reasonable doubt’ to its extreme, and ignored an age-old legal maxim. That justice must be SEEN to have been done. Either way, bhai has been let off the hook, and this development should make those like Ms Janhavi Gadkar smile a bit wider. In fact, she should launch a charity initiative ASAP, and hire a kickass PR agency to push it.

But all is not lost; if the state appeals for a review in the Supreme Court, bhai can face jail time all over again. My own hunch: With the ditto same evidence placed on the bench, the SC is likely to take a harsher view. Therefore bhai’s fans must keep their pastries and garlands on hold for some time.

However, what interests me is this: If the SC upholds the acquittal, will the television media do what it so wonderfully did in the Jessica Lal case? Which is to compel the judiciary to order a re-trial. I hope that happens. Noor Ullah may have been a poor man, but his life wasn’t any less precious than Ms Lal’s. All of us need to stand up for him when the time comes.

Chennai: Social media 1. Mass media 0.

Unfortunately, sitting in dry Mumbai, much as though one wanted to (like many other Indians), I could do nothing to help citizens of Chennai. However, images of people and vehicles trapped under water reminded me of 2005, of that dreadful day when the sky literally fell upon our heads. I was one of those stuck in office till late at night, unsure of the extent of the damage, unsure of what my next move should be. This, despite being a journalist working for a daily. All we were getting was sketchy information from colleagues who had ventured out. I prudently decided to stay put at office, many Mumbaikars didn’t, and lives were lost as a result.

What we in Mumbai lacked at the time was social media, and indeed it is this new tool that has helped people in Chennai fare better than we did ten years ago. There have been continuous updates and tweets on the situation… information on the most affected areas, localities that need urgent help, the kind of help that is needed, information about missing family members, and the general dos and don’ts. Am quite certain if we had this support back in 2005, some lives could have been saved. So the next time you scoff at rubbish chatter that goes on on Facebook and Twitter, remember they can help you in perilous times.

One other thing: Mass media had pretty much ignored the Chennai floods, every other silly story was being covered but no attention given to the sufferers there. Once social media got into the act, guilty Big Brother mass media had no option but to emulate. In fact this has become a trend now, social media usually takes the lead. Just goes to show where the future of the media lies. 

Hasta la vista, baby.

So the ‘juvenile’ who was involved in the brutal assault on the Delhi gang rape victim will be out of the ‘correctional facility’ this month. And he will dive into the waiting arms of a caring NGO that will provide him ‘vocational training’ (I hope the staff is all-men). If the incident hadn’t been so tragic, this would have me go ROFL. I understand that the chap can’t be sent to an adult prison, but does that mean we have to treat this ‘juvenile’ rapist cum murderer with kid gloves? Can a person responsible for this level of monstrosity be expected to reform? Was he charged with picking a pocket on that bus? Make no mistake about this: This criminal will be back to his dirty tricks in good time. So what’s the solution? I am no legal expert but the least that should happen to him is to be put on a technological leash, an electronic bracelet, so that there is 24X7 surveillance on his every activity. If the law doesn’t permit even this, well, we should go ahead and do it anyway. Laws are made for the welfare of people, not to put them in danger.

Incidentally, for the statistically inclined, a study in the US reports that 66% of juvenile criminals who have been arrested will become repeat offenders within 24 months. 49% of them will become repeat offenders within the first year. And this includes youngsters involved in petty crimes. Now imagine the probability of the Delhi juvenile growing up to be a gentleman.

Delhi’s odd car(t) strategy

Arvind Kejriwal wants you to drive your car only on alternate days. Nothing wrong with that, this experiment to reduce pollution and traffic has worked in a few other nations. The problem here, as usual, is that the damned cart has been shoved well ahead of the bloody horse. For one, public transport in Delhi isn’t geared up for the fresh load, so this ploy will create more mess on the streets and inside the underground trains. And two, because they have suddenly set the cat amongst Delhi’s well-fed pigeons (contrary to Kejriwal’s famous public referendum theory), many would rush to purchase their second/third/fourth gaddi, thus creating a whole new set of problems. Until the public transport system is made to rock, such ideas are bound to fail.

By the way, I don’t think Kejriwal worries about offending the city’s middle class citizens, he doesn’t care, his vote bank is the lower middle class and the poor, who have no direct stake in this policy. And when the idea fails, he will simply blame the central government for not supporting him. One more brownie point in his war against Modi. At the aam aadmi’s cost.

Tch, tch, tch.

As a child, I used to get scared of evil spirits, and would often not be able to sleep at night. My mother, who would naturally get rattled by this nuisance, had two options. One, deliver a slap for being moronic, and order me to go to sleep. Or two, discuss my fear, trace the source of it, and then find a way to convince me that the fear was unfounded. And round off by uttering Aamir’s favourite phrase, ‘All izz well’. Which do you think is a better approach?

Too much noise has been made about the star, and as usual, TV debates further muddled the issue. It’s actually pretty simple: What we are saying to Aamir Khan is this: Dude, if you are feeling insecure about life in India, don’t talk about it, just shut up and carry on with work as usual. And if you do, all hell will break lose for you. 

When we do this, aren’t we demolishing the Constitution of India which guarantees free speech to all citizens? How can we take this right away from the man only because he is a popular actor with gadzillion followers? The moment we do this, we turn into an intolerant nation, thus proving Khan’s point. And we end up making him and others feel even more insecure.

The only problem I have with what Aamir said is this: As the spokesman for ‘Incredible India’, he should have first resigned from that job, and then called a press conference to share his reasons. What he did at the event was, I suspect, abrupt and not really thought through. This is something we don’t usually expect from Mr Thinking Actor.

And by the way, no, Khan isn’t taking the first flight out to Damascus anytime soon. He is busy looking to purchase a 200 crore rupee property in good old Bandra West. And jealousy is making me intolerant of him. :)

Pappu fail ho gaya. Again.

Loved the way students of Bangalore’s Mount Carmel College stumped 'young' Rahul Gandhi. Here’s a link:

Click here.

Two points: I am amazed that youngsters in Bangalore believe in the idea of Swachh Bharat. That city is perhaps the dirtiest in India (Mumbai is better, and that’s saying a lot), each time I visit I spot uncollected garbage strewn around one housing complex or another. And their municipal corporation is notorious for its sloth and corruption. Perhaps students of Carmel belong to Bangalore’s most affluent families, and so they have failed to notice the mess. Only that would explain the optimism.

As for Gandhiji, there’s a simple lesson even a basic public speaking course will teach you: When you are caught in a spot, try and be witty or smart. Humour will almost always get you out of a tight situation. In his place, this is what I would have said to the students: Hehe, you guys in Bangalore believe in the idea only because you have a Congress led government here. We are doing the PM’s dirty work, while he is busy entertaining the swachh NRIs. Or words to that effect.  

Am told Pappu likes to hang out in Bangkok. Don’t know exactly what education he gets there, we can only imagine. I would suggest signing up at a public speaking institute in New Delhi. Am sure they have a few.

Idiotic censors

Still reeling from the massive response to my interview with the CBFC chief (for Mumbai Mirror). The interview once again proves that for the Indian government, now and in the past, chamchagiri has always taken precedence over merit. This is the biggest reason why the country progresses at a snail’s pace. For those who missed the hilarious exchange, here’s the link:

Click here.

Paris terror diary

Those of us living in Mumbai aren’t shocked by the attacks in Paris, we can only feel a sense of déjà vu. The 26/11 template was always going to be reproduced, it was a huge success for terrorists, it was only about where and when. Sadly for Parisians, they became the city of choice. And it will happen all over again. It’s so easy to do; arm a bunch of brainwashed, loser youngsters with automatic weapons, select targets, and they are ready to roll. A 9/11 is so much more difficult to plan and execute.

Some people used social media to express anger over Paris being given too much attention, when no one cares about regular terror attacks in Lebanon, Syria, Yemen and other strife-torn places. Of course, they have a point. However, it’s not that we don’t care about these places, but there will be strife in strife-torn places, and so one gets numbed to the hard reality. Sad, but true. Also, such savagery in Paris rankles more because that city is the symbol of love, art, culture, wine and joie de vivre. It’s a place you associate with happiness, not misery.

Our PM likes to collect air miles, he likes to hangout with global leaders. I am not sure what really comes of these expensive jaunts, maybe we do benefit in some way, though we still have to discover what that is. But one hopes Modi is carefully observing the French government’s reaction to terror. They quickly mobilized support from other powerful nations, commenced air strikes on ISIS targets almost immediately, combed their homeland hard and tracked down/neutralized a bunch of terrorists within a few days. And have declared they will be harsher on refugees desiring to enter their country (democracy and humanitarianism be damned). Will this stop future terror attacks? Certainly not. But some quick hard measures do provide balm to injured souls. After 26/11, all we received was a barrage of insensitive, crappy remarks from our netas. Like, ‘bade bade shahron mein chhoti chhoti batein…’. And of course, Pakistan continued with life like nothing happened. The PM should watch France’s reaction from inside his living room, and pick up a few tips. Better than wasting air fuel to entertain NRIs at glitzy events.  

I also hope our policemen observed how quickly the venue of the showdown with terrorists was sanitized. Citizens and media personnel were parked a huge distance away. I still recall television journalists reporting directly from below the Taj Hotel in Mumbai, proudly holding up shattered pieces of glass, even though the operation hadn’t ended. This mistake has been repeatedly made during terror attacks, in fact I was allowed to enter the Gateway of India complex minutes after a bomb blast. We have to master the process of sanitization, no option in this matter.

On Syria, the new fountainhead of terror. That nation has spiralled out of control in the last four years, with various factions fighting each other, and as usual, the US and Russia have been waging a proxy war in troubled waters, rather than fighting with one objective. And this division has given the ISIS arms, legs and teeth. And bullets. Now is the time to act as one team against this new menace. The more the nations are divided, stronger is the threat.

Lastly, on France. They have to find a way to stop making Muslims feel like second class citizens. The goras need to find ways to welcome them into their lives, their culture and their financial success. An unhappy community creates disgruntled elements, and then there is a price to pay. On this aspect, the western nations can learn from India. Minorities do face odd acts of discrimination out here, but by and large they are considered equal citizens in every single way, they are fully integrated. Nations like France and the UK must get there quickly, for their own good. 

The pledge no one remembers

With all the noise about intolerance and worry about polarization, I am reminded of the pledge we used to take in school. In fact, if I remember correctly, it used to be carried in every single text book, though I wonder if that still happens, given the general crudity, insensitivity and intolerance we see all around us, even amongst the kids.

‘India is my country and all Indians are my brothers and sisters. I love my country and I am proud of its rich and varied heritage. I shall always strive to be worthy of it. I shall give respect to my parents, teachers and elders and treat everyone with courtesy. To my country and my people, I pledge my devotion. In their well being and prosperity alone, lies my happiness.’

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to state that these few lines embody the so-called spirit of India, the basis on which this nation was born. Obviously no one took it seriously at school, and it was therefore quickly forgotten as we grew up. I believe the most telling words are ‘I am proud of its rich and varied heritage’. Right from childhood we were told to respect and celebrate India’s diversity, but we have gone on to fight it, to demolish it, to screw it.

The need of the hour is to ‘mainstream’ this pledge. It should be pasted on notice boards and websites of schools, colleges and offices. Every single parliamentary session must begin with this pledge, so should every cinema film. It should be played on television periodically. AR Rahman should be commissioned to convert it into an anthem. Would be a good start to stop the decay and rot that has set into India.

Thought for Diwali

As I write this, pre-Diwali crackers have begun to go off. And this message pops up on WhatsApp. Good one. So much better than blowing up money in smoke, so much better to bring a smile to someone less privileged. And yes, do not ask for the person’s religion, cast, etc, just handover the goodies. Happy Diwali! 

Esther’s recklessness

Of course, her assaulter deserves to get the harshest punishment, that is a fricking no-brainer. The fact that it will take some more years to get Esther Anuyha justice is what rankles the most. But that’s the way justice is doled out in this country, so we have to live with it. (For those not familiar with the crime story, here’s a link: Click here.

And today I am going to say something similar to what I had said in a column way back in the year 2007, a column for which I was roundly dissed by feminists. (This was in reference to the rape and murder of a Pune techie.) Although the headline I had used at the time was provocative (and I later apologized for it), the essence of my piece I still stand by: Indian men, in general, cannot be trusted, and therefore women travelling alone have to be always on their guard, whether they like it or not. Sure, we need to reform our men, but that could take centuries, even more. In the meantime, women have to take some amount of responsibility for their own safety.

In Esther’s case, it wasn’t wrong to accept a ride if a cool bargain was on offer. Most of us would take it, in any case cabbies and autorick drivers at Kurla station are notorious for thuggery. But when she discovered, outside the station, that the chap had no cab, only a bike ride on offer, under no circumstances should she have accepted the offer. Instead, the young woman  should have screamed out aloud to attract attention, given that the creep was refusing to return her luggage. By choosing to go ahead with the ride, Esther behaved in a reckless manner. As an educated, independent working woman, she ought to have exercised better judgment. Surely she would have read about the Pune techie murder (and the one in Bangalore before that).

 

Once again, yes, the criminal needs to pay, and no, I am NOT blaming the poor victim. But it is equally true that a life could have been saved if the victim had played safe. We don’t live in Utopia, dear feminists. We live in India, a nation packed with frustrated perverts.

Chhota Don

Okay, so the dreaded chhota bhai has been arrested, but I find it funny that certain people believe this will lead to the capture of bada bhai. If chhota had the skills, ideas and the network required to nail bada, he would have done so a long time ago, their enmity is the stuff of legends.    

Rather, it is to save himself from bada bhai that the ageing mafia leader seems to have decided to check into a prison. There’s also the issue of his failing health. In short, the man, when he is deported to India, would serve the nation little purpose. And will become yet another burden on the taxpayer. Best to let him chill in Bali.

Diwali nuisance

Sadly, the SC has allowed the junta to continue to blast bombs on Diwali. Here was an opportunity to kill the noise once and for all, but the esteemed court blew it. I really think the court should have put a stop to sound, while allowing the lights to go on. In this manner people still get to follow ‘tradition’, but without giving heart attacks to fellow citizens. There are various ways to measure the level at which a nation finds itself on the evolutionary scale. Festival celebrations is one such in the Indian context. The fact that we want to continue to blast the peace of the elderly, the ailing, the babies and the pets, tells us we haven’t evolved one bit in all these years.    

Award wapsi

So many creative people are busy returning their awards. I wish to do it too, but there’s a tiny hitch. I had won the columnist of the year award in 2002, the only significant award I have won in my life (not counting the few I won in inter-school sack race competitions). I have lost the plaque. Guess the domestic help chucked it, believing it to be kachrapatti.

Fiery joints

Eight people died in the Kurla restaurant fire. Just like that. Their only fault was to eat lunch in a dodgy pad. And guess what? These things will keep happening in a city like Mumbai. One, because real estate is super expensive, therefore proprietors will use every square centimeter available, and when none is left, they will create space by erecting false ceilings. And gas cylinders will be precariously parked wherever parking space can be eked out. This is a pretty common sight, rendering many food joints prone to fire attacks. Two, corruption in the municipal corporation. Licenses are often bought by these space-starved restaurants, and they get renewed with the same method. The BMC is currently indulging in song and dance about ‘unsafe’ eateries, and they will stop the nautanki moment the eight lost lives are forgotten.

So what’s the solution? Simple, really. Modify the law, and declare that when an inferno rages in any restaurant, and it’s a result of unsafe practices followed by the owner, the licensing officer will be tried for culpable homicide. And he/she will face punishment under that section. Jail time for a few will quickly sort out this recurring problem. Remember this: Our cities are packed with people that belong to the lower middle class, and with cash strapped students. They have no option but to dine at cheap restaurants, and so it becomes the duty of the BMC to do its job.

As an aside, here’s the list of the eight dead: Two Hindus. Three Christians. Three Muslims. The fire didn’t check who was eating vegetarian or non-vegetarian. Or who was eating fish or chicken or beef. It treated everyone equally. If the current dispensation learns a lesson from the fire, the eight lives won’t totally have been wasted. 

Of dogs and pups

Listening to (Ex) General VK Singh’s talks these days, one begins to wonder if the soldier would fire first and then examine the identity of his victim. The newly-minted mantri’s insensitive remarks have been bringing his party a great deal of grief, and the latest one is use of dogs as an analogy while discussing the murder of Dalit kids. As usual, everyone wants the PM to condemn the analogy. In this instance Shri Modi can be forgiven for his silence. Didn’t he use the analogy of puppies, a couple of years ago, while talking about the Gujarat riots? Same difference chhe.  

Courier trauma

I had to ‘FedEx’ a letter to Bangalore last week, and a routine event such as this turned out to be a stressful activity. On Tuesday, after ‘confirmed booking’, the pick-up dude did not turn up. Frantic calls to the FedEx call center yielded no answers, calls to call centers seldom do. Thankfully, the document wasn’t urgent, and so I decided to dispatch it on Friday. No sign of the pick-up man again, despite another ‘confirmed booking’. At this stage their slogan, ‘Relax, it’s FedEx’, started buzzing in my head, sending my BP go up several points. (‘Relax, have a Charminar’, would have been more relaxing.) I decided to take the law into my own hands, and after a little spade work, located the pick-up man who services my locality. Amar, the very sweet chap, flashed a lovely smile, checked his records, and triumphantly announced that no booking had been made by me. Ah, but the lady with the sexy voice ‘confirmed’ the booking, I protested. Amar shrugged. I am sure she was chatting on WhatsApp while dealing with me, I then suggested. Amar flashed his lovely smile again. Am sure he’d want to be relocated to their call center, any call center for that matter. They reward bullshit talk in these places, or so I have concluded.   

The one and only Viru

Viru Sehwag was truly unique, and deserves all the adulation he is getting in the media. Though it’s another matter that he should have retired a few years ago, the blaster’s batting had gotten severely jaded, he wasn’t going to be picked anyway. A lot has been written on Viru’s technique, or rather the lack of it. So let me just say this: When on a roll, the man was a compelling watch, you wouldn’t budge from your seat, not even to take a pee break. And if you suffered from a weak bladder, you were in serious trouble. Don’t think any other Indian batsman has had such a powerful hold on cricket fans. 

Senanigoons

Mass media and social media went after the Shiv Sena, all guns blazing. Folks on Twitter were sweating hard to come up with new metaphors. ‘Stained the nation black’ wouldn’t do, it’s much too trite, best left to television anchors. And of course, everything was quickly forgotten, as is the case with our ultra busy media. Forgotten faster than the time diligent sisters at Harkisandas Hospital took to unstain Shri Kulkarni, if not the nation.   

The question no one asks whenever the Sena boys go wild is this: Why do they indulge in such nefarious deeds? If people cared to ask, they’d figure there is a perfectly rational answer for it, and therefore such deeds will find periodic occurrence. The Sena needs to make its presence felt now and then, and Pakistani politicians and artistes become easy meat (not beef!). They have known for the longest time that street tamasha goes down rather nicely with their core voters, and therefore it’s an effective strategy. Their voters don’t get much impressed by pot-hole free roads or collected garbage, and definitely not by the prospect of a breezy Mumbai night life. They want the Sena men to flex muscles at real and imaginary enemies, this is their way of outsourcing glory. Thing is, if you don’t fear the Sena, their party is pooped. Bal Thackeray knew this pretty well, and so does his equally feisty nephew, Raj. Uddhav and son, both essentially chilled out guys, have tried their best to do cool stuff, but it hasn’t worked. And so the dadagiri must go on.

Once we get this, hyperventilating will stop in the media the next time the ink bottle is opened. So then what must restless tweeters do? Nothing. Sit back, tighten the seat belt, and enjoy the tamasha. And hope you are not on the stage when it happens.

Er, what about the cash?

Upset with the government’s ‘communal politics’, more and more laureates are busy returning their Sahitya Academi awards, as a mark of protest. The question is: Is this activity giving the prime minister sleepless nights? Is it making him turn secular? I doubt it. He’s got four more years in office, this is not the time to worry about awards being returned, or fret over polarization activities being conducted by his ‘fringe’ pals. Being a good Gujju, it’s time to collect air miles, do as much tourism as possible (with khakhra packets as carry-on baggage), and get some selfies shot with the likes of Zuckerberg (and keep an eye on the ‘likes’ meter). He will worry about mundane stuff from back home in the last six months in the grand office. And by the way, the Sahitya plaque comes along with a cash prize. Wonder if the peeved writers are returning the moolah, too.

Bar blues

Dance bar girls won’t be back in business anytime soon, the Maharashtra government wants to continue to keep the music turned off. This despite the SC shooting out an order in the girls’ favour. I am not sure how many of them were selling their bodies post the dance show, it is likely that some were. What we definitely know is that once the shutters came down on the bars for good, thousands of bar girls had to ‘graduate’ to prostitution, to support the lifestyle they had become accustomed to, and to feed multiple mouths back home. Although it must be said that during the sting operation I did for Mid Day in the year 2005, immediately after the bars were closed down, none of the bar balas agreed to sleep with me, ouch! Here’s a link to that sad story. 

Click here. 

Maahi’s lost (and found) mojo

It’s unfair to expect Maahi to continue to be his 2011 avatar, when the world was at his feet. Ups and downs happen to most of us in our careers, and for sportspeople, it’s even more likely to happen. As they say, time and tide must take a toll on all. In Kanpur, fans were screaming for his blood, in Indore, the captain hit back by winning the match almost solo. However, Maahi must accept that things aren’t going to be the same anymore, inconsistency has gradually crept into his performance. Indore has kept him inside the team for another year, but cool-headed that he is, Maahi must start planning his next career move, so that he departs on a high. Many of his predecessors had to be physically dragged out of the cricket field, hope our most successful cricket captain doesn’t have to face the same ignominy. 

Sociopath Indrani

While guilt is still to be proved, and the final verdict could take several years, I have to say Indrani’s character sketch, as has been drawn so far, indicates clear signs of a sociopathic condition. I state this with a degree of conviction because of the research I did for my recent book, An Invitation To Death. Because the book is based on the life of a psychopathic serial killer, I studied the key characteristics of psychopaths and sociopaths. Both, from scientific and social viewpoints.  

International research done over the years on sociopaths indicates clear behavioural patterns, and you’d notice Indrani scores positive on each one of these. Let’s study them.

Sociopaths find it tough to maintain relationships. Indrani’s multiple marriages and various other alleged alliances have been well documented. Sociopaths get involved in multiple relationships because they find it difficult to survive with a single partner, simply because they are incapable of feeling love. This will become clearer as we examine other characteristics.

Sociopaths are manipulative. Indrani scores an A+ on this one, her entire life seems to have been built on manipulating people to forward her own agendas. She manipulated her parents, assorted partners and children, and possibly work colleagues, into taking part in schemes that benefited only her. This would explain her second husband’s role in the murder conspiracy. She would have conned him into it.

Sociopaths are liars, they will hide their past. This needs no elaboration, you only have to ask Peter Mukerjea. Poor chap, he knew nothing about his wife of thirteen years. Not even that the girl who was fondly addressing him as ‘jiju’ for all these years was his step-daughter.

Sociopaths are charming. And charmers find it that much easier to manipulate. I didn’t personally know the lady, but I can say one thing with certainty: A small-time HR player from Guwahati can’t turn into a media honcho in Mumbai, in a matter of a few years, unless there’s some serious allure at work. Husband Peter, say other Page 3 types, was besotted with her years into the marriage. Solid charm.  

Sociopaths are low on emotion. If a mother can cold-bloodedly plan and execute the killing of her own biological daughter, clearly Indrani feels zero emotions in her heart. Indeed, it is this ‘quality’ of sociopaths that makes them great CEOs of organizations (they take purely rational decisions), but it could also lead to criminal activity. Because they feel no empathy, sociopaths don’t bother about the hurt they cause to others.

Sociopaths have no regard for law and social norms. Because sociopaths are enormously narcissistic, their only goal, in whatever they do, is self-fulfillment. With complete disregard for the rights of fellow human beings. This is why sociopaths are prone to crime, because they could get violent with ‘inconvenient’ people. Sheena Bora discovered this at a heavy price.

Sociopaths feel no guilt for their misdeeds. Because their brain is wired to be self-centered, and because they run low on emotional fuel, chances of spotting remorse in sociopaths is nil. Notice that days after hard interrogation, Indrani continues to plead not guilty. And she is likely to do that in the courts too. Not just because she is trying to save herself, but it’s very likely she is convinced she did no wrong.

Sociopaths are likely to have suffered childhood trauma. Skeletons tumbling out of Indrani’s dark closet indicate this. There are reports she used to get beaten up by her (step?) dad. Journalist Vir Sanghvi tells us she might have been molested as a child, or worse.

The question is: Why is it important to classify Indrani as a sociopath? This is because sociopaths and psychopaths often have brain structures that are different from those of normal people. One study indicates there is a thinning of the outer layer of the cortex, and this is the seat in the brain that controls emotions. With deformity in this area, sociopaths are not able to control their actions. It is important to study these factors clinically because they aid in two ways: One, they could help us detect sociopathic tendencies early, and could help control crime. Two, once we accept it’s a medical condition, judges would have to take this into account before sentencing a criminal.

In other words, apart from matching blood and DNA samples, forensics experts need to be trained in studying brain scans if sociopathic condition is suspected. A scan of Indrani’s brain, for example, is sure to reveal interesting findings.

Meanwhile if you are dating someone who is demonstrating the above-mentioned characteristics, rain check on the relationship would be a good idea.

(Image courtesy: Confessions of a Sociopath - A Life Spent Hiding In Plain Sight. By M. E. Thomas)

Playing chess with Rakesh Maria

I did an interview with Rakesh Maria (for GQ) in 2012. Must say I found him to be likeable, and that’s not a word I usually associate with Mumbai cops. I am sure he is right now enjoying the game of chess he is playing with Indrani. And he will checkmate her very soon. Here’s a question I had asked him and his response.

You are famous for your skills in ‘breaking’ your suspects without the use of the so-called third degree. How do you do it?

The type of terrorists and criminals we are dealing with today, they won’t break so easily. And this third degree stuff is meant only for films. You have to break them psychologically. To begin with, the investigation has to be thorough, so you know the complicity of the culprits. The culprits also assess you during an interrogation, to find out how much you know. And once they realize you know things, it becomes difficult for them keep telling lies. It’s like a game of chess. I am a firm believer that one needs to interrogate an accused on one’s own. You cannot depend on the interrogation reports or feedback from the juniors. I have personally interrogated every accused person in every case that I have handled. I love trying to understand the psychology of a criminal, to understand what makes the criminal do the act, and how he/she tries to hide his/her crime.

What’s so special about this man?

It’s overwhelming to read the words of fondness pouring out from all parts of the country in memory of one man. Many of us were not around when Gandhi died, so to witness affection on a mass scale for a departed leader is indeed a novel experience.

Why is Kalam evoking such strong national reactions, all positive? Is it because he helped build a nuclear missile? Is it because he connected with kids? Is it because he was inspirational? Or is it because he was India’s president for one term? The last appears implausible, Indian presidents aren’t taken seriously at all, most have been gold studded rubber stamps. (Pratibha Patil would top the list.)

I think the hysterical adulation is because of other reasons. The key one being this: He was the kind of leader that contemporary India aspires for but has failed to get. Talented, honest, passionate about his work, passionate about his country, a leader who wore his heart on the sleeve. Kalam reached the pinnacle of success, but remained completely rooted right till his last breath. This is what made the masses connect with him; he was one of us. Sadly for India, we haven’t had leaders like that. We have had netas who fit into one of these categories: Accused of mass murder. Accused of corruption. Accused of sloth. Accused of immorality. And accused of nation division. Kalam was the silver lining that shone in the proverbial dark cloud. And naturally therefore, we all want a piece of him.

The other reason is he embodied the original idea of India, the foundation on which this nation was built. That you will be judged purely on your talent and integrity, regardless of what your religion, caste or linguistic background is. Even as a deeply divided nation, a nation that carries many prejudices, we all come together today to mourn the loss of one Indian. This is because deep down inside, every Indian wants to believe in the original idea of India. An idea that has got corrupted because we never got the leaders we deserve. Leaders like APJ Kalam.

Rest in peace.

Why do our netas disappoint us?

Why does nothing ever change in terms of governance? Each election we dutifully line up to vote (confession: I never have and never will, unless they threaten to send me to prison), but it’s the same story: Messed-up cities, suicidal farmers, scams, nepotism, impropriety, crude behaviour in public, crony capitalism, ‘VIP’ culture, you know the drill. And it’s happening all over again.

The easy and the most popular answer is this: All politicians are corrupt. lazy and inefficient. When we say that, we completely shrug off our responsibility, and move on with our dreary lives. And so of course, nothing changes. I believe the problem lies within us. Having interacted with politicians over the years, of all ages and hues, I have discovered that many of them don’t start off their careers like that. When they are younger, or new to the top job, many aspire to make a difference to people’s lives, but lose their way as they go along. Two recent examples are Fadnavis and Kejriwal.

I seriously don’t think Fadnavis arrived with his bags from Nagpur thinking he’d overlook misdemeanours by his colleagues or that he’d hold up international flights or that he’d be happy to see Mumbai go further down the tube. On the contrary. The sincerity he displayed in his initial days in office was not a deception. Ditto with Kejriwal, who I did an interview with (for Mumbai Mirror) during the days he had just created his party, was a political wannabe, and no one gave him a chance. But his desire to change Delhi’s fortunes was real, his intentions were honourable, and he actually believed in ’people’s movement’. It was easy to see honesty in his eyes. But the less said of Kejriwal of 2015 the better. He’s finding innovative ways to let his voters down spectacularly.

And these are just two recent examples. So then what went wrong? What went wrong is We, The People. Let me explain with an example. In the year 2003 I had gone to interview the then CM of Maharashtra, Shri Sushil Kumar Shinde, at his office (for Mid Day). As it typically happens with most active politicians, he was nowhere to be seen at the appointed hour, and I was horrified to see hundreds of people already waiting for the big man. This meant if the mantri decided to attend to them first, I would be kept hanging for hours and hours, perhaps the whole day. (Yikes!)

As soon as Shinde arrived (two hours late, not bad!), the hundreds of those waiting converged on him and fell his feet, colliding with each other in the process. Who were these people? Ordinary folks looking for a quick favour. School admission, sanction of a loan, relief from police harassment, job in a government firm and so on. And there were those who decided to fall at his feet as a ‘future investment’. The scene was similar to what would happen at his Puttaparthi ashram when Sathya Sai Baba appeared to grant ‘darshan’. Even though I was cringing at the sight, I knew this activity goes on all the time, with every neta, in every part of the country.

Now when you get treated like god, day in and day out, you need to be a person of very strong character and values to not let it go into your head. And you don’t need research to tell you that post-independence India boasts of many things, not included in that list is people with those qualities. For the average Joe, this heady cocktail of power, perks and blind mass reverence is a trip difficult to handle, the neta’s mind goes for a toss, he begins to think of himself as a superior being, Son of a Greater God. And the first thing that evaporates is the good intentions he had carried with him to the job.

The question therefore is this: Why are we a subservient nation? There is no easy answer to that. It could be because of poverty and illiteracy. Or because our masses are basically insecure people, having been repeatedly let down by their leaders. I suspect the number one reason is the colonial hangover which refuses to go away with the passage of time. The goras are long gone, but we are still on our fricking knees.

What’s the cure for this hangover? When will we begin treating our politicians as co-workers, on equal terms, as it happens in the developed world? I have no idea. I can suggest remedies for booze hangover, not for this.   

(Photo courtesy: Indian Express)

 

Ten reasons why we shall never quit driving drunk.

Driving in big Indian cities is no fun at all. It’s horrendous, shitty and nightmarish. With idiots jumping signals, cutting lanes and honking non-stop. But a couple of drinks makes it easier to deal with the mess. Trust me.

Alistair, Sanjeev, Janhavi, Salman, Nooriya, all of them are bloody fools. They couldn’t keep their shit together. I can handle this, I have the skill and the confidence. I rock on the roads.

I know exactly where Pandu havaldar parks himself. And I know exactly how to avoid him. Only morons get caught.

And even if I get really unlucky, I have mouth fresheners on the ready, and I have been known to get out of tricky situations, hehe. And if all fails, my wallet is stuffed. Cool.

Buses and trains are not my scene, they are too messed-up. The dirty and grimy kaali peeli is for losers. Why would I bother with these when I just paid a fortune for my wonder machine, a machine that’s desperate to stretch its legs.

(Specifically for women and gays.) Uber? Bollocks, all their drivers are molesters. And what will that tapori think of me when I am in a sozzled state? More importantly, what will the creep DO to me?

My pals will laugh at me. Chickening out of driving after a few beers is what losers do. And they’ll post about my cowardice on FB. And WhatsApp. Naah, can’t deal with that.

All my colleagues are drunk. Someone has to drive, right?

Relax! I am not THAT drunk. I can handle this.

Only others get caught. I never have. I never will. So chill.



(Image: Gurl.com)