Scamistan to Goonistan?

A few years ago we used to get knocked every other day by stories of mega scams, all planned and executed at the highest levels of politics and business. Inspired, some of us began fondly addressing our nation as Scamistan (gosh, hope that ain’t seditious!). Frustrated, a whole lot of Indians, taken in by the promise of ‘Swachh Bharat’, voted a brand new government into power. And to its credit, financial scam stories no longer accompany our morning cuppa, at least not those involving top politicians. Down the line, especially when it comes to the bureaucracy, corruption rages on as usual, and we have learned to live and deal with it.

However, we now get whammed by stories of criminal assaults. And rabid intolerance. An old man gets lynched in his house only because someone suspected he enjoys beef for dinner. Elsewhere rationalists are being murdered in cold blood. Free thinking students are being rounded up and sent to jail. And justice isn’t being delivered by judges, it is being dished out by lawyers that hang out in the court premises. Jats don’t get reservations in colleges and jobs? well, they get it by unleashing terror on the streets, while raping a woman or two as part of the fun. Just the other day a Shiv Sena lout beat up a female traffic cop in Thane. Her crime? She did not approve of his driving while kwacking on the cell. And it goes on.

It’s not that violence wasn’t happening before, it’s just that a section of this population seems to have got further emboldened to let their fists talk, mainly because the government seems to be going soft on these goons, or at least that’s the perception. Apart from his love for foreign travel, no one can say for sure exactly what goes on inside the mind of the PM, he doesn’t talk to us on important issues. One thing is for sure, though. Events of the last two years indicate it definitely isn’t ‘Sabka Saath, Sabka Vikas’. It seems more like ‘Kuchhka Saath, Kuchhka Vinash’.

The good news is the international press is having a field day covering stories of fisticuff explosion in this country, and this flies in the face of the ‘Make in India’ campaign. Hopefully this will awaken the current dispensation, in any case mota bhai cares only about what the goras and the NRIs think of him.

National vs anti national

The increasing polarization has led to an inevitable fall-out: Debate on patriotism and gaddari. Every other day you hear guests inside TV studios try to heckle one another by shrieking ‘My nationalism is bigger than yours’. And it’s always a shriek, civilized debate is an alien concept to Indian news studios. As a result the definition of nationalism and sedition is being wildly stretched. It’s gotten so bad, some people have begun to wonder if they can criticize the PM’s suit/boot without risking jail time.

I have always believed we have a warped idea of patriotism. Going after patrons who refuse to leave the comfort of the multiplex seat while the anthem is screened, and then going home to deliver a tight slap to missus for serving cold food. Is that being patriotic? Singing desh bakhti songs on the morning of Pandra Agast, and then pissing on the streets after a late night out with buddies. Is that being patriotic? Furiously cheering the cricket team, and then chucking empty water bottles on the ground when the boys lose. Is that being patriotic?

If we really want to measure our love for the nation, here’s what the government should do: Make payment of income tax completely voluntary. No punishment if you don’t pay. My hunch is 99.99% Indians who fall in the tax bracket won’t pay their due taxes. And the rest 0.01% that do so will be dissed by their families and ridiculed by their friends.

So much for nationalism.

Sanju baba’s new life

There has been talk of favourable treatment being meted to Dutt, and it’s not without basis. However, let’s just accept this: Bhai served his time in jail, the full sentence as ordered by the SC. He used his legal and financial muscle to enjoy all the benefits available to him: Paroles, furloughs, early release and so on. All within the boundaries of the Indian law. And there’s nothing wrong with that, we would do the same in his place. It also could not be proved in court that he was directly involved in terrorism. Perhaps the prosecution failed on that score, but that’s not Dutt’s problem. Many powerful netas who have communally divided this nation and caused the murders and rapes of thousands of citizens never went to jail for a second. I think we should respect the fact that Dutt’s done his due time. And that he deserves a new, blemish-free life.

Only hope: He is now genuinely a changed man.

Deadly Headley

So then Davidbhai, correction, Dawoodbhai, has appeared on a giant screen in our courtroom. Cool. And exactly what is he doing? Well, confirming the nefarious designs of our friendly neighbour, designs that we are already well aware of. Apart from ‘revealing’ young Ishrat Jahan’s credentials, he hasn’t shared anything sensationally new. Also, Dawoodbhai is a hardened terrorist who has entered into a plea bargain with a US court to escape the death sentence. So we can never be sure of any of his utterances. Perhaps he’s busy gassing about stuff, perhaps he’s singing the truth. Point is: We don’t know, therefore the television drama has zero value.

So then what next? Well, it’s certain the Indian government will dispatch a fresh set of dossiers to the Pak government. I have always wondered how these dossiers are sent out. Snail mail? Email? WhatsApp? Knowing the way governments operate, guess it’s snail. And exactly how does Pak treat these dossiers? Again, I would suppose they do what most good governments do to inconvenient files: Dump them inside a dusty storage room.

In other words, nothing will change. Except that we can look forward to another attack. Why am I so sure? Let me explain this situation in another way. A cardiologist can only tell you where the blockage lies inside the heart. You can visit him or her any number of times, you can visit any number of cardiologists, you can run any number of tests. That will not remove the blockage, it will stay in your heart, making your life miserable. To deal with that, you need to move to the next level: Meet a heart surgeon. He or she will open up your heart and solve your problem.

As far as our Pakistan strategy is concerned, we are still doing the rounds of cardios, we are still doing ECGs on different machines. And we are still dishing out reports, You get the point.

The Facebook ‘Unlike’

I am no tech geek, but common sense tells me that by killing Facebook’s Free Basics, the government, under pressure from the so-called net neutrality champions, may have killed a golden chance for the poor in India to access the internet. Currently, you have to pay a couple of hundred bucks if you want internet to function on your phone, and this denies the less privileged access.

If Facebook was allowed to operate its plan, the poor would have been compelled to only visit the sites Zuckerberg wanted them to, but what’s really wrong with that? Isn’t some access better than nothing? At the very least, Free Basics would have enabled the net ignorant to get a taste of the digital space, a free trial, so to speak. And with time and prosperity, and having tasted blood, these millions of people would have dumped the free subscription and graduated to full paid access.
 
The unfairness of it all is that a few upper and middle class wallahs have made sure the poor continue to be
deprived of access to the net. And this was done without even taking their opinion! If this is not elitism, what
is?

Breathe in India

As I write this post, ‘Make in India’ week has begun in Mumbai. ‘VIPs’ are flying in from across the world, and of course, a shiny image of the city will be projected to them. No one will tell them that right inside the heart of the city lies a dump yard that no one cares about or bothers to maintain. And that this dump yard routinely spews poison into the air, choking the lungs of residents who live nearby.

  

My thing is: Sure, we’ll make in India. But can we Breathe in India, first? Please? In case you missed it, here’s the link to the blog I wrote for NDTV last week:

Click here.

(Image courtesy: Phawker.com)