Senanigoons

Mass media and social media went after the Shiv Sena, all guns blazing. Folks on Twitter were sweating hard to come up with new metaphors. ‘Stained the nation black’ wouldn’t do, it’s much too trite, best left to television anchors. And of course, everything was quickly forgotten, as is the case with our ultra busy media. Forgotten faster than the time diligent sisters at Harkisandas Hospital took to unstain Shri Kulkarni, if not the nation.   

The question no one asks whenever the Sena boys go wild is this: Why do they indulge in such nefarious deeds? If people cared to ask, they’d figure there is a perfectly rational answer for it, and therefore such deeds will find periodic occurrence. The Sena needs to make its presence felt now and then, and Pakistani politicians and artistes become easy meat (not beef!). They have known for the longest time that street tamasha goes down rather nicely with their core voters, and therefore it’s an effective strategy. Their voters don’t get much impressed by pot-hole free roads or collected garbage, and definitely not by the prospect of a breezy Mumbai night life. They want the Sena men to flex muscles at real and imaginary enemies, this is their way of outsourcing glory. Thing is, if you don’t fear the Sena, their party is pooped. Bal Thackeray knew this pretty well, and so does his equally feisty nephew, Raj. Uddhav and son, both essentially chilled out guys, have tried their best to do cool stuff, but it hasn’t worked. And so the dadagiri must go on.

Once we get this, hyperventilating will stop in the media the next time the ink bottle is opened. So then what must restless tweeters do? Nothing. Sit back, tighten the seat belt, and enjoy the tamasha. And hope you are not on the stage when it happens.

Er, what about the cash?

Upset with the government’s ‘communal politics’, more and more laureates are busy returning their Sahitya Academi awards, as a mark of protest. The question is: Is this activity giving the prime minister sleepless nights? Is it making him turn secular? I doubt it. He’s got four more years in office, this is not the time to worry about awards being returned, or fret over polarization activities being conducted by his ‘fringe’ pals. Being a good Gujju, it’s time to collect air miles, do as much tourism as possible (with khakhra packets as carry-on baggage), and get some selfies shot with the likes of Zuckerberg (and keep an eye on the ‘likes’ meter). He will worry about mundane stuff from back home in the last six months in the grand office. And by the way, the Sahitya plaque comes along with a cash prize. Wonder if the peeved writers are returning the moolah, too.

Bar blues

Dance bar girls won’t be back in business anytime soon, the Maharashtra government wants to continue to keep the music turned off. This despite the SC shooting out an order in the girls’ favour. I am not sure how many of them were selling their bodies post the dance show, it is likely that some were. What we definitely know is that once the shutters came down on the bars for good, thousands of bar girls had to ‘graduate’ to prostitution, to support the lifestyle they had become accustomed to, and to feed multiple mouths back home. Although it must be said that during the sting operation I did for Mid Day in the year 2005, immediately after the bars were closed down, none of the bar balas agreed to sleep with me, ouch! Here’s a link to that sad story. 

Click here. 

Maahi’s lost (and found) mojo

It’s unfair to expect Maahi to continue to be his 2011 avatar, when the world was at his feet. Ups and downs happen to most of us in our careers, and for sportspeople, it’s even more likely to happen. As they say, time and tide must take a toll on all. In Kanpur, fans were screaming for his blood, in Indore, the captain hit back by winning the match almost solo. However, Maahi must accept that things aren’t going to be the same anymore, inconsistency has gradually crept into his performance. Indore has kept him inside the team for another year, but cool-headed that he is, Maahi must start planning his next career move, so that he departs on a high. Many of his predecessors had to be physically dragged out of the cricket field, hope our most successful cricket captain doesn’t have to face the same ignominy.