Some observations on the late abortion debate.
• I think the moot problem is that the law must redefine the stage at which life comes into being. To suggest that happens only after 20 weeks of pregnancy (one is legally allowed to abort before that) is fallacious. I think life comes into being the moment the egg is fertilised… the couple becomes a threesome FROM THAT POINT. Therefore all decisions the parents take must take into account the third life, and its right to live.
• Which means there have to be compelling reasons for abortion at ANY point, because one is cutting out an individual’s most basic right to live. And these to my mind are: The parents are way too poor to rear a child. The pregnancy is the result of rape. The to-be mom is a minor. And for no other reason must the abortion be termed legal, yup, even when the girl gets pregnant after a hectic dandiya night. Sure, in the last instance, the lady would visit the shady dai maa, but the law must make it illegal, so at least she knows the abortion is a violation of the Constitution. That perhaps might encourage her to be careful during the dandiya raas.
• Under no circumstances must technology be allowed to come in the way of Mother Nature. No matter how unhealthy the foetus is, NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO DECIDE ITS DESTINY, not even the parents. We have heard stories of abnormal children going on to to live perfectly healthy lives. The parents must use the high tech to HELP the child live a healthy life, rather than nip it in the bud.
• Think about this: the moment one couple is allowed to decide to get rid of abnormal children, and with the rapid advancement we are seeing in medical science, here’s what the future will hold for us. We would see abortions for the weirdest of reasons: one finger missing, abort. Poor eyesight, abort. Too dark skinned, abort. Crooked nose, abort. Which is why I am totally with the HC judges on this. Nikita and Haresh CANNOT be allowed to kill their child.
• Lastly, only two entities are allowed to decide on someone’s right to live. God. And murderers. Since we cannot be gods, let us not turn into murderers.
25 comments:
I COMPLETELY agree with you ....do all parents want acers as children. Even if you hv a normal child what is the guarantee that he/she is going to be a Anil Ambani yaar, Just becoz you hv a machine that tells you whats wrong with the child you can't disown it. What hv we come to? Why is the perfect tag hanging on us so bad. Are the parents perfect? where has the motherly feeling gone? I agree that no mother wants to see her child suffer, but what abou those mothers whose children are HIV + later in life. Do they say ' O, we delivered normally, now its God who wills this' Don't understand whats goin on.
But when one knows that the child will not be born healthy? Not the media, not you or I will be there for a child who maybe born mentally or physically unwell. Do we have the right to decide for the family? I don't think so. Finally, those three people will have to live the life somebody else has chosen for them. And that is not fair.
I totally agree with you! As you mentioned, A LIFE STARTS FROM THE MOMENT OF CONCEPTION! NO one, but no one, has the right to take that life away...not even murderers, they hang for such a crime!...Only God can, and His ways cannot be understood. He gives perfectly healthy children to some couples and then takes them away when they have barely lived, who knows? This so-called 'abnormal' foetus may be born perfect.
Don't you think the foetus already feels unwanted? It is definitely a possibility.
Oh! I am so happy about the HC verdict.
If they cannot afford to look after a child, they can always put him up for adoption to some rich childless couple; but to think of aborting the foetus is murdererous!!
And to comment on the first response to this blog:
"Even if you hv a normal child what is the guarantee that he/she is going to be a Anil Ambani yaar, . . ."
If my unborn child is guaranteed to be another Ambani - anil or mukesh - then, I'd definitely apply to the SC for an abortion. Isn't it sinful to give birth to a corrupt banya?
Anil I agree with you partly when you say no one has the right to kill/murder a child....but considering this particular couple they don't look like that was their intention when she must have got pregnant in the first place or she would not have carried on with the pregnancy for this long. Some people cannot face the fact that their child is not going to be accepted in the society nor has the courage to give up the child for adoption... Its easy for us to say what if the child got HIV etc later on in life, but in this case the parents already know something is drastically wrong. I think humans sometimes should stop playing God in other people's lives!! The parents should be given a right to decide in a grave situation when it is pertaining to their child!!
I'm sorry but my views are very different on this.Just like we don't hv the right to decide if someone should live or die, we don't hv the right to decide how the person should live.A very close friend of mine was born with a congenital heart problem.The parents had been warned that she won't live long,and whatever life she will hv will be riddled with health problems.But they chose not to abort.My friend could not indulge in physical sport,school functions,or anything kids are supposed to.She missed several school exams due to blood tranfusions and sudden bouts of severe illness.Soon,we left her behind in school and despite being our age she was 2 classes/standards behind us.I don't recall going to any of her birthday parties or even for a sleepover.She soon became asthmatic,and at the age of 14 she died.Her parents were shattered and were miserable for a long time.Had I been in her place and could speak for myself while still un born,I probably would hv chosen not to live.I am a mother now,and I know how a pregnant woman gets attached to her "foetus".It is not easy to decide to kill your child.And it's even worse to hv your child taken away becoz u can't afford medical care or to death due to birth defects.I am against HC's ruling becoz they hv decided for the child to be born with known defects.Who gv them the right?
Anil, ever since this debate began i have been on both sides of the fence. Somewhere i agree that we have no right to decide the child's fate- for all you know with the advancement in technology it's possible the child might live quite a healthy life. But,having become a father a few months back, i also understand the parent's feelings. Cos when u r expecting a child u dont really wish for a beautiful baby, but u do wish deep in your heart that your child is 'healthy.' And it must be painful to go thru life and see ur kid suffer- especially if you had a choice to do something about it. But then, like i said it's a moral dilemma too and i dont know which side i am on......
I do believe that Nikita and her husband dont want their child to suffer. Like all parents.
They look like a very gentle couple going through an extremely painful time. Lets take a more compassionate view and lets not brand them as murderers etc.
even if the baby survives all odds during birth...but if it is severly handicapped for the rest of its life and completely dependent on its parents who will take care of the baby once the parents are no more...and wat about the qulaity of life that is available for the child and parents...its not a simple abort/retry/cancel option here...
Dear Anil,
I cannot say i agree with your comments - why do we consider a foetus a person? Medically it is not murder but a 'termination' of pregnancy. Pregnancy can be termed as god's miracle, blessing whatever - but the fact remains that it is simply a reproductive fact of life, an egg and a sperm coming together to do what they are warranted to do - now if a couple isnt happy with the way their egg and sperm came together and feel they need something better whats wrong with that? (Considering the fact that in a city like Bombay raising a healthy child is a trial for most parents) you, me or any of us pro/anti abortionists have no right to decide if the couple - or any couple want to keep whats theirs' any longer. If they are not prepared to face the bitter pain of a dying child later - who are we or even HC to decide that for them? Its all very well to debate or state that this an example to deter others from terminating pregnancies over smaller reasons, but what about the couple themselves? Has anyone given a thought to the fact that something so personal has now become a national issue for armchair debatists?
Hi there,
it should always be the womans right (along with the prospective father, if he has not already run if it is a crisis situation..)to decide about any pregnancy, the rest of the people will all have a plethora of opinions, air them and then just fade away.
It is the mother, who will be with the child, everybody will be coming and going.
A disabled child will not get adopted. I am quite sure about that
Hi Anil,
I like Claudia's comment and what she said about everybody having a (strong) opinion, because we know that three weeks down the line we will have forgotten, but these parents cannot just switch the channel and move on.
I'd like to comment on some of the things you wrote in your blog: You give a couple of reasons which you believe to be valid for abortion, but you do not include the one reason that some people just don't want the child. Of course you say that people should be more responsible, but that is blabla. People know they will die when they cross train tracks, but they do. They know drunk driving kills, but they do. People are not those wonderfully responsible persons who stand up for their mistakes, mostly they are cowards (and this is not in reference to this particular family but more to your dandiya example). Then you disallow such unwanted children to be aborted, but think about the quality of life of an uncared for, unloved child. Parents can do horrible things to children and everyday especially in India they do, and I do not think this should be wiped away so lightly saying that every child must be born and people should be 'responsible', as if that slogan had ever worked.
Furthermore, as healthy adults none of us can pass judgement. Go to a hospital, see some really sick people and visit families of children with severe, chronic, congenital diseases and ask them their opinion. And ask yourself how you treat handicapped/ill people. Is there not always that undeniable flicker of pity?
I do hope people would treat this case with more sensitivity. There is no justification to allude to this family (who could just as well have had an illegal abortion) as murderers. I recommend Jug Suraiyas column in today's TOI and what he writes about the countless female foeticides nobody cries about and this one child every Indian seems to want to rescue. Such double standards I've never heard of.
You have chosen your words with care and they make a powerful case on behalf of the unborn kids who are helpless and at the mercy of their parents!I agree with every word!No law or technology can interfere with God's creative right.... Is it not possible to have bad luck or accidents that cause life-long misery to a family? Will the effected person agree to be terminated because he/she is causing so much pain and trouble to others?Babies from the moment of conception are LIFE- listen to the silent scream from the womb when they are killed... and live with the nightmare all your life!!- Vera Alvares
You know, none of us has the right to make decisions about someone else's body.
If life begins at conception, can that life live outside independently right from conception? No, so we are really talking about what goes on inside someone else's uterus. We have no right to dictate our opinions to someone else, and control someone else's body.
I could give you a much longer argument, but I don't want to hog your comments section, you are welcome to read my blog post.
ohmigod! I found you!! you wont remember but i used to send you total fanmail long ago... i linked up your post to mine.. hope you dont mind.
http://thebratthebeanandbedlam.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/whats-a-good-time-for-you/
I disagree with your post. All these people who disagree with the parent's decision to abort an unhealthy child don't offer to adopt him/her ? People just like to sound morally noble.
Why is it the woman, who has to suffer after a hectic dandia night ? why is that she have to be more careful next time and go for a shadowy dai ma for abortion which might kill her, destroy her ovary or befall other medical complications on her .. did she have the sex alone ? did the child belong only to her ? Her partner in this process will go free. Men always want to prosecute women for one biological weakness that after sex, they have to bear the child and not men.
You talk about where this will end ? you fear about what if people start aborting for missing finger nails, dark skin ? really ? is this our faith in intelligence of human beings? you think other people are morally deprived and stupid to abort for frivolous reasons and you all "pro-life" are there to protect humanity from its dooms day ? remember that all the fetuses you are going to protect will have the same "stupid" genes as their parents whom you forced to have a child when they did not want to.
I'm sorry Anil, but I would have to disagree with you. I don’t think that you can view this issue in black and white. What gives you the right to say it’s okay to abort if pregnancy is a result of rape? Or because of poverty? But not a medical condition?
And you are not the upholder of morality for society. Then you would be no better than the so called moral police.
Right and wrong have been ingrained in all of us since birth. Unfortunately ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ are not as clear cut as we would like them to be. Barring the big ones like murder, rape, drugs and thieving, you will be hard-pressed to get consensus on most other issues. Dowry. Religion. Social behaviour. Drinking and driving. You will not get two people to agree on these. And that’s great, because it means you have a point of view and you’re actually using some grey cells.
So why can’t you abort after a night of ‘dandiya ‘? I think people are not as callous as you make them out to be. I don’t think it’s wrong to have sex. Yes of course you should be careful, if you don’t want to get pregnant. But surely you should have the choice of deciding whether or not to terminate. I also don’t think people go around terminating pregnancies like they do programs. They do it because they had to make a choice. A hard choice. It scars a person, physically and mentally.
It’s all a question of how you look at it. Is a baby a miracle? Or a burden?
And that question does not have one right answer.
Dear Anil,
If you feel that technology should not come in the way of mother nature, I would assume that
you wont use IVF in case you/your close relatives are not able to conceive a child.
I am sure that you wont use pain killers matter how excruciating your pain is.
And, I am also sure if one of your best buddies/closest relatives is terminally ill and is in a vegetative state, you will not think about
euthanasia because it is still murder and again, you don't like to go against mother nature.
Your love for adhering to mother nature's laws is worth appreciation.
But, can you please tell me who this mother nature is, and where she has written her laws.
Cos, my mother nature has taught me that it is okay to do anything as long as i don't disturb someone else.
That involves easing my pain by killing/removing living/dead tissues in my body.
It also involves easing my pain in whatever manner i please.
And her constitution, a fetus is just that, fetus.
Thats why it has a separate name for that.
If it were an individual it should be given a name, it would be added to the census and it would be able to exist independently.
If these laws sound like fun, you are welcome to be adopted by mother nature.
If you invite me to adopt your mother nature as my mother nature, I will consider.
But, please don't force your opinion on others.
It is contemptible and it would render the society fractious and societal living can never be harmonious
Thanks
Shankar
hi five anil once again...i am impressed with your story and the picture u posted along with the blog has turned my insides outwards.... i am reminded of a story of a mother who was pregnant for the 6th or 7th time and was contemplating an abortion...she went ahead and had the child who is today known as beethoven the greatest music composer of his times. another personal story is of a friend of mine who got pregnant with her second child when she went to work as a nurse in florida...at 16 weeks the doctors told her to have an abortion as the child had multiple congenital abnormalies....today the child is 6 months plus old and is absolutely fine????
Life is life...you have to live it with the many ups and downzs that come with it...be it a death of a loved one, loss of job or home or bringing up a handicapped child. i for one was not blessed with a biological child for 5 years and i decided that it was fine and have adopted 2 beautiful children. to answer claudias question of whom will adopt a disabled child ...my answer is any childless couple or anyone who simply loves children...when we adopted our kids we were allowed to do only some basic tests on them as per the court requirements and whatever problems came up after that we have dealt with them without regrets....coz that can happen with your biological child toooo.???
Laughable. Hilarious.
Dear Anil if you have been following the comments that you have got for this blog you will find the Maximum Women do NOT AGREE with your point of view and so do I ..............I am sorry that for being such a out spoken and forward thinking man you still feel that GOD is the final decider .............if you have seen "Bruce Almighty" there God says if i had to solve all your problems they would never get solved .....i have given you the POWER in YOU to solve them yourselves.........and about the Abortion issue I totally agree with the couple if they know that the chikld is going to be UNWELL before birth why make both the parents and Child suffer .........incidentally in those cases that people have had kids with any abnormality / handicap its because they DID NOT know that it was there . I am sorry to say but NO ONE IN THIER senses will want to have to face a lifetime of strife ................
incase you are nmarried you could ask your wife the same ...........sorry for being so harsh but that is the REAL FACT OF LIFE
I am saddened to read the comments out here. I am a woman and I was advised by all doctors to abort my baby. But my hisband and I went ahead with the pregnancy and today I have an extremely healthy 1 year old son. When I was pregnant I knew that having a baby who was not normal was going to change my life drastically but not for one moment did I consider an abortion. But not all pre natal tests are accurate. While I was pregnant I came to know how little a pregnancy means to some doctors these days. Any little problem and they suggest an abortion. And this too from top ob/gyns in the city.
Everyone wants to be perfect these days. Soon we'll be killing people who are not "normal" as we see it.
If only two entities are allowed to decide on someone's right to live, then I am sure you must be against Capital Punishment!
I hope you are not against it just to win an argument :)
Its too late but still... i personally think that a couple must have the right to abort their baby. Definitely in case of minor/rape/danger to health etc situations, butalso in case of accidental pregnancy, esp if teh couple cant afford the baby. there is no point in bringing another soul into the world if we cant take care of it. there are many orphans in thsi world who need a home... think abt them before bringing in more people. but ofcourse that never happens, as blood is thicker than everything else. blood relation nahi to relation hi nahi... everyone wants to be devaki, no one believes that being yashoda can work, except suhmita sen and angelina jolie.
anyway all thsi apart i think even in not so grave situations, a couple must be given the right to decide what they want to do with their baby.
and i completely disagree about teh point that if we allow freedom then ppl will abort at the click of a finger... crooked nose, abort, dark skin abort.
have u any clue how many people have to work so hard to conceive a baby, with so many lifestyle induced conception problems we are facing? u think its that easy to just give up a child just like that? u think having a baby is time pass for people? dude, people spend years trying to have a baby, and trust me, one aborts only when there is REASON. amother who has waited for months, has finally conceived and prayed to god day in and day out for the safety of teh baby, would not give up teh baby that easily, unless REQUIRED.
if we have awesome child care services, then fine, LET NO ONE ABORT, CUZ IF U DONT WANT THE BABY, CHILD CARE SERVICES WILL TAKE CARE OF IT.
dude, its not that easy. we know it. we cant help anyone raise a child. so why are we forcing anyone to have a child? woh toh mehtas went to teh HC like good citizens.. dont we know they cd have taken teh shortcut and aborted secretly?
It doesnt matter now cuz teh baby's gone, but I support their cause wholeheartedly, not because i believe in murder or anything, but teh right of a human to decide whether they are up for parenthood or not. its sad HC did not support them.
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