Damn adjust maadi

(Wrote this for Bangalore Mirror readers)

I think one expression Bangaloreans should immediately erase from their dictionary is 'adjust maadi'. Not just because the rest of the nation now associates it with an underwear brand, but also because it's no longer cool to simply adjust with whatever life in the city has on offer. In fact, it's self-destructive to continue to behave thataways, given the seismic changes that have happened in the city in the recent past, and I am not referring to the tongue-teasing name change. (With due respect to all my Kannadiga friends, Bengalooru is a bit of a mouthful for the rest of us, it leaves a tickling sensation in my fragile larynx.)

The auto rick guy cheats and abuses you? Don't adjust maadi, demand he take you there, AND give him an earful all through the journey. The reason these crass creatures get away with crude behaviour is because we have been adjusting maadi with them for too long now. It's payback time.

That lunar crater (called pothole by nice Bangaloreans) down your street doesn't get repaired for months and years together? Don't adjust maadi. Gherao the local corporator (do you even know his/her name, dear adjuster?), and demand he/she take action. Never forget you pay for his/her salary and the gas-guzzling Amby.

New road projects and rail links are delayed by years, causing you great hardships and health problems, not to mention massive fuel losses? Don't adjust maadi. Do some Gandhigiri with the mantris and babus. Send them a bouquet of flowers a day. And if that doesn't work, mail some balloons loaded with carbon monoxide.

You get robbed of your laptop at primetime in the heart of the city? Don't adjust maadi. Visit the police commissioner's office and demand quick answers. In case your latest excuse is you don't know where to find the good officer, here's the address: No 1, Infantry Road.

Yup, I know, it's heart breaking to trash a phrase that's your most fav, one that's definitive of the city itself, one that's symbolic of the good guy Bangalorean. But sadly, it's time to bury 'salpa adjust maadi' for good. Because it's become irrelevant and accursed in the very messy, mismanaged and under-pressure New Bangalore. In fact, the powers-that-be will want us to always be relaxed, chilled out and adjusting as citizens, so that they can have a free run with the city, all the more reason we should dump it ASAP.

And most importantly, because surely none of you wants Bangalore to become synonymous with an underwear brand.