The Black-lash

Let me clarify a few things, since Aamir’s comments on Black have blown into a full-fledged controversy in the media. In my interview with Aamir for the Mumbai Mirror (here’s the link), the actor was simply reacting to a specific question on Sanjay Bhansali’s much revered and much awarded blockbuster. That question wasn’t pre-planned, it became part of a freewheeling conversation as we went along. So let’s be clear and immediately kill any suggestion that Aamir was using the interview to get at Bhansali.

Two, although I have the highest regard for Mr Bachchan (I grew up on his cinema), I do believe there was absolutely no need to deride Aamir for his comments on Black, I daresay it was a tad unbecoming of an actor of his caliber and stature. We are all entitled to our views on stuff that falls in public domain, and we must accept that there will be people who don’t agree with our work. I felt disappointed that our dear Big B reacted so strongly to comments made by an actor so many years junior to him. And I will make it a point to mention this to him when I have the good fortune of meeting Mr Bachchan next.

Incidentally, for what it’s worth, I do agree with Aamir. Black left me cold and unmoved, which was a shocker. A film loaded with an emotional story, that of a girl who is dumb, deaf and blind should have tugged at the heartstrings. And I think it’s gotta to do with the totally clinical and antiseptic way the film was directed… there was zero soul in the film. And it’s not that I have suddenly formed this opinion, these were my exact comments in a column in Sunday Mid Day soon after the film’s release.

Er, Kirsten is right

Now that we know the incoming cricket coach doesn’t relish Indian food, finds hotels in small towns laughable and thinks there’s no point driving a luxury car in India as it gets rodgered within days, the fellow will always find himself stuck with the off-the-cuff comments he made ten years ago.

Clearly, he’s taken up this hugely onerous job as the biggest challenge of his life (the pot of gold must have played a part too), but his discomfort with the Indian way of life will make things iffier for him.

While I do not agree with Gary Kirsten on the food and shelter bit… Indian food is the most delicious in the world, no wonder the firangs are falling for our khana, and I wonder if the equivalent small towns of a non-descript Rajkot in any part of the world have seven star hotels.

But I DO agree with him on the car. You will rarely find a gaadi (especially a luxury sedan) that hasn’t been deep-scratched. And the honours on new cars (to break their ‘virginity’, eesh!) are carried out by playful Pappus and Buntys of the building society or by the angsty urchins passing by parked cars. I kid you not, but a friend, the moment he got delivery of a spanking new car, carved a huge scratch on both the sides. No, he hasn’t gone insane, this was his way of saying, “Look, if my car has to be vandalised, I may as well do it myself, so I don’t feel violated later!” Hmm. It’s a thought.

Would recommend Kirsten buy himself a sharp paper cutter the moment he arrives on our shores. At least he’ll have one less thing to carp about.

BOOM!

No other Indian fest gives me as many creeps as Diwali (though Holi is a terror too, with creeps being unleashed on the streets to have fun at strangers’ expense). And apart from unwanted guests and unwanted calories, it’s the firecrackers that give me nightmares.

But yes, despite all the crackling sounds, the number of bombs being blasted in the neighbourhood has seen a dramatic fall. I recall my childhood days at Cuffe Parade where for days together, residents of Cuffe Castle and Mehr Naaz buildings would be in serious competition on who could make louder and longer sounds. Now, the noise levels have gone down, and that’s a surprise given that in 2007 AD, the Indian middle class has extra bucks to burn, there’s just too much black cash lying around waiting to be exploded. The boom in spending on conspicuous consumption is testimony to that.

Elated environmentalists believe the decline in noise is because today’s kids are far more environmentally sensitive than the earlier gen, that they do care about all the pollution that crackers create. That they don’t like it when dogs, babies and elderly citizens go crazy. And I think that’s sheer bunkum. If the new kids were so sensitive and caring, so many parents wouldn’t be getting dumped in old age homes, violence in schools and colleges would have come down, and we know it’s exactly the opposite that’s happening.

If the farting sounds on Diwali have reduced, it’s gotta do with only one thing: the kids today have far more action than we did a decade or so ago. Why waste money and time on setting some stupid fireworks into the air, when you can invest the same moolah into cooler stuff? Like chilling out with the gang at a lounge bar. Or taking the weekend off to Lonavala with the blokes. Or dating that chick from Orkut. Or having a sex romp in the friend’s vacant flat in Chembur. Or at a seedy resort in Malad.

So the noise has reduced only because the kids of today have more options and the means. And has nothing to do with pollution control. Take away the choices, these doods would be out on the streets setting the skies on fire.

Tehelka for Modi

Full marks to the Tehelka journo for the expose in Ahmedabad. Having spent a couple of hours with Praveen Kumar Togadia inside VHP’s office in Mumbai, I can tell you the atmosphere can get very charged and pregnant with hazardous possibilities. And this chap spent all of six months with a spy cam living, eating, breathing with people who can get lethal, and that’s a highly creditable act. A brave journo, indeed.

However, what leaves me baffled is this: will anything come out of the ratification of truths we already knew about five years back? Modi and his men have made no bones about being communal, that is their ideology, the plank on which they amass their vote bank. So there’s nothing new we are learning now. Since the matter is in courts, and if the judges admit the tapes as evidence, then that’s great, but that’s as far as this sting will travel. And sadly, no more.

In fact, what worries me is that the story will backfire on the journalists, and it will make Modi’s brand even stronger than it already is in Gujarat. The Gujarati Hindus had more or less forgotten all about the so-called revenge attacks five years ago, and the focus, even for Modi’s election campaign, has been on growth and prosperity. At the recent Hindustan Times Summit, a beaming Modi spoke for the first time of inclusiveness. Whether he meant it or not, it was clear communal politics in Gujarat had lost its steam.

However, the wounds have come alive again, and will create serious religious tensions in the State. And this means another thumping victory awaits Modi. Again, it will be all about ‘let’s get our lion back into the hot seat’ war cry.

So does this mean sting operations is a bad idea on perpetrators of crimes in Gujarat? No. But five years later is just too late to make any real difference. Other than to provide steroids to Modi’s on-going election campaign.

An imploding nation

It occurs to me, Misbah of the Pak cricket team might just have saved his and his team members’ lives. By holing out to Sreesanth in the last over of the T20 Cup final. Because had Pakistan won the cup, and drove out on a victory motorcade on the streets of Karachi, they could all so easily have been blown away from the face of the Earth.

Pakistan is a totally failed State, a liability on the whole world, the ground zero of global terror, and with respect to our country, an incurable cancer sitting like a monkey on our right shoulder. All the terror activities on our soil can be sourced back to Pakistan; they won’t live in peace, and neither will they let us.

The sort of reception Benazir Bhutto received on her return home, was another proof that this nation has violence seeped into its DNA, that no one is safe out there anymore. And no, I didn’t suddenly decide today is Pak bashing day, it’s just that last night’s incidents shattered the last minor hopes one had for that country.

Clearly, neither is the military dictatorship able to deal with the terror elements (either intentionally or otherwise), nor are they willing to let go of control. And it’s really scary that these self-destructive people have a nuclear bomb lying around somewhere.

So what’s to be done? I see no other option but for the G8 leaders (and Pak’s buddy, the US, in particular), taking an active role in taming this rogue State. They need to forget about Iraq and Iran and find ways to monitor the destiny of this failed and messed-up place. Because left to themselves, not only will these guys destroy their own selves, but will make the whole world a dangerous place to live in.

As they say in medical science, if a tumour doesn’t self-heal, there’s no option but surgery.

Troubled gods

The terrorists have permanently changed the way we live (and die), and there’s ratshit we can do about it, except to grin and bear. What’s most depressing however is that they have not left our gods and festivals alone, and instead of joy and celebrations, our festivals and places of worship arouse immense fear in our minds and hearts.

There is not a single important place of worship in Bombay that hasn’t turned into an army fortress, forever gone are days when one could simply slip in, pray and leave. The recent Ganpati fest had me thinking of the worst-case scenario, what with the millions collecting at the beaches, and it’s no different right now with the Navratri and Durga Puja festivals, the Eid and the oncoming Diwali. Singed with gaiety is fear and horror. And it has become so bad for me, I no longer look forward to these otherwise joyful occasions, as they raise the level of terror warnings.

And the thought that’s even worse is that we have learnt to live with this destiny… not only do we not demand resolutions from our leaders, we have stopped expecting it as well. So there’s the office, the beer meets, the romantic dates, the mall ratting, the reality television shows, the cricket matches, the matinees, and the bomb blasts. It’s gotten programmed into our lifestyle. Kids who are growing up right now will refuse to believe there was a time when RDX did not feature on the menu.

Well, keep safe. And hope it’s not you in the next round of attack. And even God can’t help you, He/She is under attack as well.

War of the roses

It was good to learn the Supreme Court has decided to go easy on the Mid Day journos who were facing a prison sentence under the contempt act. An enquiry has been ordered, and let’s hope justice prevails. If their explosive story about the retired judge’s alleged misdemeanours is found to be accurate, then the law should take care of the accused and follow its natural course of justice. And if the story turns out to be yellow and malicious, then the journalists must be ready to face the music, as simple as that.

Two others points. I entirely agree with Outlook’s ed Vinod Mehta when he says that in this war between the press and the judiciary (the two pillars on which this country still manages to stay afloat), it’s the politicians who will have the last laugh. If there’s anyone the netas want immediately fixed, it’s the honest journalists and the high-integrity judges. Which is why this spat must be resolved quickly and fairly.

The other thing is, yes, we do need to revisit the Victorian contempt law, which debars the media from running investigative stories on judges. Because although a vast majority of the judges in our nation are men and women of great honesty and integrity, there are still a few bad apples left, and this comes from the mouth of a retired Chief Justice, no less. And these few taint the image of the rest, and it’s best if they are made to stand for scrutiny. If the judiciary allows itself to be open to examination, it will do its own self a huge favour.

And if some creepy journos are found to take advantage of this situation, and use unfair means, then the punishment for them should also be very heavy. So that the reporters do their homework well, and think many times before meddling with the judiciary.

This case has gone beyond Mid Day, it has opened up a very important discussion as far as justice and democracy go. And I sincerely hope the big result is a suitable amendment in the contempt law. That will be the best possible justice.