This post is meant for those who enjoyed the filthy language of Delhi Belly. Those who made this absolutely (and literally) crappy film a huge box office success. Those who believe obscene cinema is equal to great cinema. Those who believe hurling and hearing gutter words in public places is a hip and cool thing to do. And those who are happy that the bar has been lowered really low in Hindi films.
I was thinking if Mr Delhi Belly Aamir Khan were to re-write classic Hindi film dialogues, how will they read? Here’s a golden collection. You can add your own.
Now, some of you will enjoy these. The rest will get repulsed. I am hoping, really hoping, you belong to the latter group. In any case, alas, you are probably reading the future of dialogues in Bollywood films.
“Sara shahar mujhe Bose DK ke naam se jaanta hai.”
“Bh.. wa Mogambo khush hua!”
“Ch… ye, kitne aadmi the?”
“You b……d, main tumhaare b…..d bachche ki maa banne waali hoon!”
“Kanoon ki g….d bahut badi hoti hai!”
“Ruk ja! Kanoon ko apne haath mein mat le! Apne l… d ko apne haath mein le le!”
“Yeh dhai kilo ki g… d jab phat ti hai, aadmi unth ta nahin, ch…d jaata hai.”
“F…… g taareekh pe F…… g taareekh pe F…… g taareekh pe F…… g taareekh!”
“Aapke t.. ts bahut khubsoorat hain. Inhe choli ke peeche rakhna, nahin to maile ho jaayenge!”
“Ek m…… d machchar aadmi ko hijra bana deta hai.”
“Senorita, bade bade shaharon mein aisi f… k all baatein hoti rahti hain.”
“Pushpa, you b… ch. I hate tears.”
“What’s your f… king name, Basanti?”
11 comments:
I'm laughing at your creativity while simultaneously cringing at the thought of what would happen if these dialogues were aired on live TV.
Basanti, in c******n ke saamne mat naachna!
You know Anil.. have always read your blogs because they made sense. Its weird that you failed to understand why Delhi Belly is a hit. Its not great cinema by any means. It just shows how we people below 30 live our lives. Yes there is abuse involved but we dont do it in front of our parents. If you notice, there was no cuss words used in any of the scenes where the parents were there. We live our lives like this and the frustration does get to us. I mean petrol is 69 bucks a litre, cost of living is so high that we have to think whether we shud have kids. The older generation fcuked with the freedom given by the freedom fighters and we are sufferers. If nothing the least that Aamir has done is portray how the youth of this country lives. Delhi Belly is not great cinema but it is a fact of our lives.
'Kitne L__D thhe, Sardar Do, Woh Do Aur Tum Teen, Phir Bhi G_ _ D Marake aagaye, Kya Soche, Sardar M_ _ N Mein lega, Shabasi dega' -
I never knew dialogue writing would get so easy.. grt career opportunities for all!
ANIL!!! I am shocked!! LOL!!
Just brilliant!!! Now to have your script the remakes of all these oldies!!!
Looks like most of you enjoyed this drivel! :( Anil T
Ankeet: Life was a lot tougher (trust me) when I was under 30. In fact we had very limited career and academic ops. And the nation was equally corrupt then. But that was no reason to bark bad words in public places, and embarrass other people. We all used dirty lingo, but seldom in front of strangers. What Delhi Belly and some other films are doing, is to make cuss words a cool thing. My teen nephew sometimes curses in front of his dad (my brother). Neither he nor me are proud of it. Cinema feeds on popular culture. But it can also shape it. That choice exists for filmmakers. Anil T
It was disgusting , you shouldnt have written this post!!
Hi Anil .. Maybe this will help : http://openthemagazine.com/article/art-culture/how-hindi-films-got-so-good
Also if you have a link for all the articles you used to write for Mid-Day then please do share.
Nothing wrong with a bit of obscenity now and again, Anil, especially if it is well called for and in character.
A journalist from a Bombay society magazine once asked me, ‘Mr Sinha, your character speaks from the heart, but what kind of heart does his language reveal? Don’t you think it’s a little too strong, too prurient, for decent tastes?’
She produced a copy of my book and opened it to a marked page.
‘Listen to this: “Whole nother world it’s, below the waist. Believe me, I know which one hasn’t washed his balls, I can smell pissy gussets and shitty backsides whose faint stenches don’t carry to your nose, farts smell extra bad.” ’ She slams the book shut. ‘Can such filth be called literature?’
I said, "I don't know, let the character answer."
And the character, who was a nasty little wretch with a twisted back who went on all fours, replied, ‘I will clean my language if you will raise your voice to clean the [Khaufpur gas disaster] factory. Tell your readers. Clean our water. Clean our blood. Clean our mother’s milk. You decent people who for 25 years knew of our suffering and did not speak up, your silence is a greater obscenity than any word I could utter.’
love to you and K from your old pal,
Indra
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