Paison ki paathshala

Here's my review of SRK's Paanchvi Pass for which the Mirror 'forgot' to carry my byeline. :(

In keeping with the great Indian reality television tradition, yet another international show has been adapted (read copied) for the desi audiences. ‘Kya Aap Paanchvi Pass Se Tez Hain?’ is based on the hit US show, ‘Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?’ Just as the title, the rules, the format, the setting, it’s all been borrowed (speak of cheating in class). The only novel element is Teacher Shah Rukh Khan, but more on that later.

The format

Paanchvi Pass (conveniently called PP by the convent educated) is a game show in which contestants compete for big bucks by attempting to answer questions taken from primary school class materials. Each contestant is presented with the chance to win up to Rs 5 crores by answering 11 questions taken from textbooks of first to fifth class. The contestant is presented with 10 subject cards, which she/he may answer in the order of her/his choice. Each correct answer moves the contestant higher up the moolah pyramid. If a contestant answers all 10 questions correctly, she/he is given a chance to answer an 11th question for Rs 5 crores.

And to make sure the ‘students’ don’t make complete fools of themselves, there are the usual lifelines called ‘cheats’. These cheats are classmates, which is a group of children seated on stage who answer the same questions as the contestant. Every two questions, a new classmate joins the contestant and becomes her/his teammate for those two questions. The contestant can use her/his cheats at any time during the first 10 questions.

Does it work?

It should in theory, given the deadly prize to be won (five crores is a new high for Indian television), and the apparent ease of winning the dosh when all you have to do is answer bachon ke sawaal. Compared to KBC, where, after a point, the questions used to get blisteringly tough. And I say in theory because the timing of PP’s launch could not have been more inappropriate. Whether the raunchy cheerleaders survive or not, the Indian audiences are all sold over the IPL matches, and the head-on clash could prove hurtful for the game show. I would be surprised if PP scores even half the TRPs the KBC shows notched up, despite the many dangling juicy carrots.

Sexy teacher

Which is perhaps why the channel (Star Plus) has roped in crowd puller SRK to play teacher, so if all else fails, there’s always the Badshah’s charisma to fall back on. Am afraid the star may not prove to be such a strong magnet on this occasion. Simply because when he hosted KBC 3, Shah Rukh was returning to television after nearly two decades, and there was huge curiosity amongst the audiences. These days, King Khan has totally hijacked Indian television programming, and much like Rakhi Sawant, is all over the place, either dishing out cute one liners at busy conclaves, or selling assorted products, or hawking his flicks or, yup, promoting his T20 club. The mystique is blown, and we are tired of the SRK overkill. So while in the first episode of PP the jeans-clad cool teacher did all he could to keep the excitement going, including flashing the legendary dimples and connecting fabulously with the kids, what I was more interested in was the on-going Mohali match.

I may not have scored many marks in my fifth grade, but am tez enough on my remote control. PP will have do a lot of homework if it wants a shining report card in that all important subject called TRPmatics.