The tiger isn’t extinct

In the recently concluded municipal elections in Mumbai, the Shiv Sena/BJP romped home with a majority, to the great surprise of many, including the Sena cadres. That alliance has controlled the municipality in Bombay for many years, but has nothing to show for itself but failure and mismanagement. The city’s civic amenities suck, the drains don’t, filth lies all over the city uncollected, hawkers and land grabbers are mushrooming faster than Shilpa Shetty’s media coverage, there is zero planning for this decaying city’s future, and 26/7 was a kick arse reminder that heads need to roll in the BMC.

Simple logic would indicate the Sena would get ousted. But that didn’t happen. And that is not to say the rival Congress is any better, I have yet to see a more slothful and inefficient CM in Maharashtra than Shri Deshmukh. Still, one would have thought the slightly lesser of the two evils would benefit, but even that did not happen. Nor did the exit of Raj Thackeray, Bal Thackeray’s ridiculing of the Prez, and Hema Malini’s demand that UPites go back home, made a difference.

What did make a difference was we cool doods of Mumbai ignoring the elections as we always do, but more on that later.

I think what worked was the invocation of baseless fear in the minds of the Maharashtrian community, members of which vote the most. It was Bal Thackeray’s ultimate weapon, and he used it with astounding accuracy. Just a couple of days before the polls, the ageing tiger roared, “We will never let anyone separate Mumbai from Maharashtra!” Implied within the message, of course, was a threat that if the Sena failed to win, the State would lose Mumbai. Of course, the frightened voters got carried away, not even bothering to find out if there was such a talk going around in the first place. The truth, as you all would know, is that for the last three years no one’s even mentioned such a possibility, least of all Sena’s rivals. And the rest of us gave up on the separate Mumbai dream many moons ago. Not having any achievements to crow about, Thackeray fired his emotional Brahmastra, and it hit bull’s-eye.

I guess the easy conclusion is Indian voters are emotional suckers and fools who don’t do their homework, and our netas prey on this weakness. Sure, this is true. But it is also true that not very long ago, Dubya deceived half of America, a first world nation, into believing Iraq and Saddam was behind 9/11, and the idiotic voters bought into the lie. So I guess this is no unique Indian failing. This is a built-in flaw with democracy, and there’s very little we can do to correct it, unless we adopt General Musharraf’s way of life.

We could perhaps dilute this factor by making sure we, the educated and informed, go out there to vote, but that we will not do, as we have lost faith in the electoral process. And we have better things to do on a hol like partying, malling, chilling, etc. Also, the choice of candidates on display isn’t very exciting, so that’s another great excuse to keep away. And so the vicious cycle goes on.

And frankly, I am quite worried about the future. If I was a BMC officer, I would do even lesser work than I did before, convinced that Mumbaikars will die like rats on a 26/7, but will yet vote us back in. So why bother doing anything at all.

Which is why on our glorious Republic Day just gone by, all I did was drink to glory, dry day be damned. If I have to die like a trapped rodent on the muck-clogged streets one day, why not live it up today. Democracy, on the rocks please!