What’s so special about this man?

It’s overwhelming to read the words of fondness pouring out from all parts of the country in memory of one man. Many of us were not around when Gandhi died, so to witness affection on a mass scale for a departed leader is indeed a novel experience.

Why is Kalam evoking such strong national reactions, all positive? Is it because he helped build a nuclear missile? Is it because he connected with kids? Is it because he was inspirational? Or is it because he was India’s president for one term? The last appears implausible, Indian presidents aren’t taken seriously at all, most have been gold studded rubber stamps. (Pratibha Patil would top the list.)

I think the hysterical adulation is because of other reasons. The key one being this: He was the kind of leader that contemporary India aspires for but has failed to get. Talented, honest, passionate about his work, passionate about his country, a leader who wore his heart on the sleeve. Kalam reached the pinnacle of success, but remained completely rooted right till his last breath. This is what made the masses connect with him; he was one of us. Sadly for India, we haven’t had leaders like that. We have had netas who fit into one of these categories: Accused of mass murder. Accused of corruption. Accused of sloth. Accused of immorality. And accused of nation division. Kalam was the silver lining that shone in the proverbial dark cloud. And naturally therefore, we all want a piece of him.

The other reason is he embodied the original idea of India, the foundation on which this nation was built. That you will be judged purely on your talent and integrity, regardless of what your religion, caste or linguistic background is. Even as a deeply divided nation, a nation that carries many prejudices, we all come together today to mourn the loss of one Indian. This is because deep down inside, every Indian wants to believe in the original idea of India. An idea that has got corrupted because we never got the leaders we deserve. Leaders like APJ Kalam.

Rest in peace.

Why do our netas disappoint us?

Why does nothing ever change in terms of governance? Each election we dutifully line up to vote (confession: I never have and never will, unless they threaten to send me to prison), but it’s the same story: Messed-up cities, suicidal farmers, scams, nepotism, impropriety, crude behaviour in public, crony capitalism, ‘VIP’ culture, you know the drill. And it’s happening all over again.

The easy and the most popular answer is this: All politicians are corrupt. lazy and inefficient. When we say that, we completely shrug off our responsibility, and move on with our dreary lives. And so of course, nothing changes. I believe the problem lies within us. Having interacted with politicians over the years, of all ages and hues, I have discovered that many of them don’t start off their careers like that. When they are younger, or new to the top job, many aspire to make a difference to people’s lives, but lose their way as they go along. Two recent examples are Fadnavis and Kejriwal.

I seriously don’t think Fadnavis arrived with his bags from Nagpur thinking he’d overlook misdemeanours by his colleagues or that he’d hold up international flights or that he’d be happy to see Mumbai go further down the tube. On the contrary. The sincerity he displayed in his initial days in office was not a deception. Ditto with Kejriwal, who I did an interview with (for Mumbai Mirror) during the days he had just created his party, was a political wannabe, and no one gave him a chance. But his desire to change Delhi’s fortunes was real, his intentions were honourable, and he actually believed in ’people’s movement’. It was easy to see honesty in his eyes. But the less said of Kejriwal of 2015 the better. He’s finding innovative ways to let his voters down spectacularly.

And these are just two recent examples. So then what went wrong? What went wrong is We, The People. Let me explain with an example. In the year 2003 I had gone to interview the then CM of Maharashtra, Shri Sushil Kumar Shinde, at his office (for Mid Day). As it typically happens with most active politicians, he was nowhere to be seen at the appointed hour, and I was horrified to see hundreds of people already waiting for the big man. This meant if the mantri decided to attend to them first, I would be kept hanging for hours and hours, perhaps the whole day. (Yikes!)

As soon as Shinde arrived (two hours late, not bad!), the hundreds of those waiting converged on him and fell his feet, colliding with each other in the process. Who were these people? Ordinary folks looking for a quick favour. School admission, sanction of a loan, relief from police harassment, job in a government firm and so on. And there were those who decided to fall at his feet as a ‘future investment’. The scene was similar to what would happen at his Puttaparthi ashram when Sathya Sai Baba appeared to grant ‘darshan’. Even though I was cringing at the sight, I knew this activity goes on all the time, with every neta, in every part of the country.

Now when you get treated like god, day in and day out, you need to be a person of very strong character and values to not let it go into your head. And you don’t need research to tell you that post-independence India boasts of many things, not included in that list is people with those qualities. For the average Joe, this heady cocktail of power, perks and blind mass reverence is a trip difficult to handle, the neta’s mind goes for a toss, he begins to think of himself as a superior being, Son of a Greater God. And the first thing that evaporates is the good intentions he had carried with him to the job.

The question therefore is this: Why are we a subservient nation? There is no easy answer to that. It could be because of poverty and illiteracy. Or because our masses are basically insecure people, having been repeatedly let down by their leaders. I suspect the number one reason is the colonial hangover which refuses to go away with the passage of time. The goras are long gone, but we are still on our fricking knees.

What’s the cure for this hangover? When will we begin treating our politicians as co-workers, on equal terms, as it happens in the developed world? I have no idea. I can suggest remedies for booze hangover, not for this.   

(Photo courtesy: Indian Express)

 

Ten reasons why we shall never quit driving drunk.

Driving in big Indian cities is no fun at all. It’s horrendous, shitty and nightmarish. With idiots jumping signals, cutting lanes and honking non-stop. But a couple of drinks makes it easier to deal with the mess. Trust me.

Alistair, Sanjeev, Janhavi, Salman, Nooriya, all of them are bloody fools. They couldn’t keep their shit together. I can handle this, I have the skill and the confidence. I rock on the roads.

I know exactly where Pandu havaldar parks himself. And I know exactly how to avoid him. Only morons get caught.

And even if I get really unlucky, I have mouth fresheners on the ready, and I have been known to get out of tricky situations, hehe. And if all fails, my wallet is stuffed. Cool.

Buses and trains are not my scene, they are too messed-up. The dirty and grimy kaali peeli is for losers. Why would I bother with these when I just paid a fortune for my wonder machine, a machine that’s desperate to stretch its legs.

(Specifically for women and gays.) Uber? Bollocks, all their drivers are molesters. And what will that tapori think of me when I am in a sozzled state? More importantly, what will the creep DO to me?

My pals will laugh at me. Chickening out of driving after a few beers is what losers do. And they’ll post about my cowardice on FB. And WhatsApp. Naah, can’t deal with that.

All my colleagues are drunk. Someone has to drive, right?

Relax! I am not THAT drunk. I can handle this.

Only others get caught. I never have. I never will. So chill.



(Image: Gurl.com)

 

What lessons can we learn from Pallavi?

Young Pallavi Purkayastha was brutally attacked and killed by her building’s security guard inside her apartment in Mumbai. This is not just a sad incident, it rings alarm bells for all us who live in large towns.

Big cities like Mumbai, Delhi and Bangalore are bustling with singles, and couples who work late into the night. This often leaves the woman alone in the apartment. Add to that the fact that many security agencies tend to hire shady personnel because of their easy availability and lower cost. These are urban truths that shan’t change anytime soon. And this puts our lives at risk.

So then what can you do as an individual to keep safe? Here are some thoughts that come to mind immediately: Keep good relations with your neighbours, even if you don’t like them very much. Store their cell numbers for use in an emergency, and give them your contact details. (This will also be helpful in case of a medical situation.) Few of us bother to make an attempt to be friendly with our neighbours. This is a mistake.

Demand that your building’s security personnel get their names registered at the local police station. If your building society isn’t co-operating in this matter, you can call the cops directly and ensure this gets done. This is also valid for the domestic help and other workers who have access to your house. And if you can afford it, install a security door and/or a CCTV camera outside your entry door.

All the above are obvious suggestions, and yet many of us choose to ignore them. Because of that same old failing of ours: Dude, shit happens to someone else, not me.

However, Pallavi’s death has provided another specific warning. She did not latch her door from the inside. Because this would have barred the entry of her boyfriend, who would often be working later than her. The mistake she made was to carelessly drop her keys on a table located right next to the entry door. It was from here that her killer quietly slipped them out. You have to store the door keys in a safe spot; the best place, to my mind, would be inside your bedroom cupboard.

It is these simple little precautions that can save lives. Do add your own suggestions.

Yes, we all make errors, that’s human. But we must be really stupid if we don’t learn from other people’s costly mistakes.

We don’t deserve freeways

As many as 27 people died in an accident on the Mumbai/Pune expressway on Monday morning. With many more injured. Ever since the expressway became operational in the year 2000, hundreds of people have perished on it. (And there have been many accidents on the fancy Sea Link as well.)

Strange, don’t you think? With large 3-laned one-way roads, one would have thought chances of collisions would be minimal, if not totally eliminated. So then what the hell is going on?

Here’s the problem: People in India are not ready for freeways. We are far better off with cramped roads and bumper to bumper traffic. I have driven on the Mumbai/Pune expressway on numerous occasions, and here’s what I have noticed:

Very heavy, over-laden trucks don’t just operate freely, the drivers often stick to the right lane of the expressway, in complete disregard to rules of highway driving. The drivers are often pissed drunk and badly over-worked. Impatience, restlessness and sleep are bound to take their toll. And they never get reprimanded by the highway patrol. Should there not be a regular clampdown on these guys at the toll nakas?

Untrained or semi-trained young car drivers go ballistic on the expressway. This is like their huge break from city conditions, and they use the opportunity to test their ‘skills’. Quite naturally, many lose control of their vehicles. They over-speed, abruptly cut lanes, don’t maintain a safe distance and panic in a dangerous situation. How is it possible to control this in a corrupt nation where driving licenses are doled out like chana watana? And where some bikers ‘mysteriously’ slip onto the expressway?

Next. Most people don’t follow basic vehicle maintenance procedures. They will hit the expressway even if the car tyres are balding badly, and checking air pressure before driving out is considered a total waste of time. This ducking of simple safety measures proves even more costly at nights and during the monsoons. Speaking personally, while driving on the expressway, I don’t just keep my eyes on the road and hands on the wheel (as Jim Morrison advised), I keep a sharp look out for moronic drivers and suspicious vehicles. Is this the way to enjoy a freeway drive?

Basically, the complete disregard that Indians show to fellow citizens in all walks of life (spitting on the streets, screaming at restaurants, jumping queues, etc), gets spilled over to the highways. With lethal results.

And since we aren’t going to change our ways anytime soon, I think we should forget about constructing more freeways. We don’t deserve them.

Where did Keenan go wrong?

There’s this guy called Keenan Sentos who was killed when he and his pals objected to some drunken mawalis teasing their lady friends. This happened in Mumbai, and crime happens every hour in the city, so this is nothing really sensational.

However, the incident set me thinking, because this sort of a thing can happen to any one of us in public places. No one knows for sure what really transpired at that paan shop in Andheri, but we know this much: The group was waiting for their paans to be prepared. A couple of drunkards teased the girls in the group. The men objected, and either abused or slapped the drunkards. The drunkards returned with a large gang which attacked and killed Keenan, apart from injuring his male friend. Thankfully, the girls got away unharmed.

Question is: What is the learning from this tragedy for the rest of us? What exactly went wrong? Should we not protect and stand up for women with us? Of course, we must. That’s a given. A chap may wimp out, out of fear, but it will torment his conscience forever. At least that’s the traditional view point. So where did Keenan & gang go wrong? Frankly, I have no answers. And hindsight is always smart, but to live in the moment is another story altogether.

Still, here’s what’s buzzing in my head: When a drunken man teases your female partner/pal, there’s really no point in attacking him. The man is not in his senses, and is capable of any sort of reaction. The idea should be to move away from the scene as quickly as possible. Is moving away a sign of cowardice, should not a man take some direct action against the offender? Not really. I think for a man, the first responsibility is to get the woman with him into a safe zone. Her safety is paramount. If this is tantamount to escaping a volatile situation, so be it. Make no mistake about this: Any man who takes panga with sozzled mawalis is compromising the safety of women with him. And there’s nothing macho about that.

Two, after having fobbed off the drunkards, Keenan and his pals continued to wait for their paans. Now, however out of the world the paan might be, doesn’t it make sense to quickly leave the area? To get away from a place of potential conflict? Isn’t continuing to hang around there a sign of recklessness?

Like I said, I don’t know the answers. If you do, you are welcome to share. I am only thinking aloud. Because while Keenan’s death is irreversible, it must serve as an example for all of us so that we don’t repeat the same mistakes.

There’s something about Anna

So then how did this obscure, unknown old man manage to capture the nation’s collective imagination? Why is the junta, cutting across social, caste, religious and regional divide, whole-heartedly supporting him? What has gone into the making of the mighty Brand Anna?

Here are three possible explanations:

1. There has been a crisis of leadership in this nation for a long time now. People of India sorely miss a leader they can respect and trust. The last formidable leader we had was Mrs Indira Gandhi (despite her short comings) and there has been none of note after her death. Rajiv Gandhi flattered to deceive. Atalji could have been that leader but he owed his allegiance to a highly communal parent, and the Gujarat riots happened under his watch. Apart of these two, our leaders have been either inefficient or corrupted or both.

In this scenario, out of the blue, trots in a man endearingly called Anna. And using the forgotten methods of Bapu, he promises to clean up the nation. He has no shady past, he seemingly has no affiliation to a political party, he stands for non-violence, and tells us things we want to hear. It’s simple, really. Anna Hazare has quietly occupied a vacant slot in this nation. That of a leader we were all looking for. And I daresay if a referendum was to be held in this nation tomorrow on who should be our PM, 99.99% of the people will choose Anna. And the rest would opt for Dr Manmohan Singh. Such is the crisis of leadership in the nation.

It must also be noted that a vast majority of the populace has no idea what the Lok Pal bill stands for and how it will cure the scourge of corruption. People aren’t rooting for the bill, that’s just a symbolic tool…. they are rooting for Anna, the leader of the masses.

2. In politics, perception is more important than reality. No one knows if Anna Hazare has a hidden agenda behind his Lok Pal crusade, no one knows if there are secret forces propelling his march, no one knows if what he really wants is a grand entry into politics. And frankly, no one cares. All this nation is clamouring for is a clean leader who can get things done. All we are looking for is an honest, decent, go-getter messiah. And Anna fits into that perception very nicely. The Congress leaders tried very hard to kill that perception, they tried to fling crap at Hazare by calling him corrupt, but it didn’t work. Because no one cares, really. So what if he blew up two lakh rupees on his birthday, we asked. That’s a bloody paltry sum compared to the looting and plundering the Congress has done on this nation for decades. It’s the perception that’s the most important thing. Anna can do no wrong, we have already decided that in our minds.

3. What also seems to be working for Anna is his immensely charming persona. He LOOKS like a man we can trust. And when it comes to leadership, don’t underestimate this factor. He is 70+, a senior citizen, and still wants to bring about change in a nation in which he realistically speaking has no personal stake. This makes him a crowd favourite. Indians are emotional people, and we can’t sit back and do nothing when an old gent is out there fighting for our rights. In addition, Anna LOOKS like a really sweet grandpa, Santa Clause if you will. He is the father figure we never had. He is the affable Dadaji we want in the house. He is that cute teddy bear we all adore. We all want to reach out to him, protect him, hold him. Once again, don’t underestimate the importance of his personality, it is playing a huge role in his success. Just imagine for a second, even with all his noble intentions, if he looked like Om Prakash Chautala or HD Deve Gowda. The crowds would have vanished a long time ago.