Should we do biz with Modi?

India’s business barons are keeling over each other, desperately wanting to invest in Gujarat. CM Narendra Modi has had them eating out his hands, and the list is by no means thin. It reads heavyweight names like Ratan Tata, Anil Ambani and Anand Mahindra.

And why not too? Gujarat has promised many incentives and Modi is a man determined to bring prosperity to his State, in fact Gujarat is economically the most progressive State in the nation. Also, unlike many other CMs we know, Modi is a kick arse leader, he will come down hard on anyone who dares to even toy with the idea of doing a Singur on Gujju land, the man is a visionary, and has great ideas on the way forward.

Also, Gujaratis adore their leader, they will make sure their ‘Chhote Sardar’ wins by handsome margins in any election, which also provides stability to investors. The worst thing that can happen to businessmen is frequent changes of governments and leaders.

So far so good.

The question to ask is, should ethics, humanity and morality be damned by our tycoons? Should they ignore Modi’s very nefarious role in the 2002 riots? Can they simply forget about the fact that many Gujarati Muslims still need to be resettled, punishment has still to be awarded to the murderers and rapists? Can they duck the truth that even the judiciary lost faith in the courts of Gujarat? How can one do business in a State where one section of the populace is disgruntled, unhappy and angry?

Sure, I know I am talking like a fossilised loser out here, no business is ever done on emotion. As they say, ‘Ganda hai par dhanda hai!’ I recall Sanjeev Kumar’s cutting line in Trishul, and it’s my own reality check every time I see the movie: “Agar jazbaaton se business hota, to aaj har bhikari karodpati hota.” The Tatas and the Ambanis are only interested in stuff like ROI, Toplines and Bottomlines, as they should be.

However, since I am a loser, I would refuse to sleep with the enemy only to fatten my balance sheet. I would first demand Modi clean up his house, be just in his actions, and only then would I sign deals with him. But then, I am loser, and now you know why.

Going back to Trishul, if I ever meet Modi after his financial windfalls, this is what I would be tempted to say to Motabhai: “Aaj aap ke paas aap ki saari daulat sahi, sab kuch sahi, lekin maine aap se zyaada gareeb aaj tak nahin dekha.”

Shilpa’s prob is our prob

Yes, I know, enough has already been written on Shilpa Shetty’s abuse on UK’s Big Brother, I also know it’s just a bloody silly TV show where losers and idiots get together to make some quick bucks and minor exposure. I also know the channels and the producers are delighted that the racial attacks happened, that many people are offended, that people like Tony Blair and Gordon Brown have got sucked into the debate, because this gives them additional eyeballs, which is what must matter to them. So by writing another piece, I am falling right into their well laid booby trap.

However, I really think what’s transpired in that house is a crucible of what goes on in the world out there, the racism that exists in the western nations, and its impact on all of us, whether we live in the west or travel to those parts. It’s a bad rat we always bury under the carpet, and this Shetty incident has helped bring it out on the discussion table. Truth is, racism in some form or another has always existed not just from the ‘whites’ but from the ‘browns’ and the ‘blacks’ too. We all know, for example, how much communalism thrives within India.

What has always pissed me off, is that while we non goras are quite naked in this matter, with the goras, it’s usually concealed behind the veil of politeness and civility, the many ‘thank yous’ and the ‘my apologies’. Which then makes it far more deplorable and sinister. The people inside Big Brother’s house have chosen to come out in the open, and now it’s out there for the world to see. The silly apology from Jade Goody cuts no ice with me, sorry!

Sure, racial bias against people from the sub continent soared after 9/11 and the ‘Bangalorisation’ of IT jobs, that is a fact. But having travelled abroad on various occasions, I have to say the resentment was always there, only now there’s fear and insecurity too. I have been the subject of many underhand biases during my travels to the US and the UK, and I will list a few here to underline how demeaning they can be. At the Greyhound Bus booking counter in NYC, I was screamed at for ‘asking too many questions’. At a pub in London, I was deliberately served badly cos they wanted only whites inside. I was denied a better room in a hotel in London, despite paying the normal fare, because those are reserved for the whites. (The browns are allotted dingy rooms, I learnt from a migrant housemaid.) And my experiences in the underground trains are far too many and too sad to narrate. And I am sure a whole lot of us have felt discriminated against, overtly or subtly, at some time or another. Of course, I admit, generalisation is always fraught with peril, there are countless good people every where, but that doesn’t diminish the broad reality, does it?

And what upsets me then, is when the goras come over to our land, we revere them, suck up to them, and usually go out of our way to be helpful and friendly. Waiters and chefs at five star hotels are known to go full-on for the goras at the cost of us unimportant Indians, call it reverse discrimination if you might.

So will the Shilpa Shetty episode on a silly game show change all this? Of course not. If racial bias is seeped deep into our veins, we can’t purge it in a hurry, can we? BUT, the ugly controversy has triggered a huge, much needed debate, and it’s time we had it out in the open. The incident is also putting pressure on British leaders to come down hard and strong on racists, so who knows, maybe we could see some positive action.

Meanwhile, thanks for your warm thankyous and sorrys and the half smiles, but if deep down inside the colour of my skin makes your skin crawl, then bollocks to you, mate.

Have you been shot yet?

A friend sent this passage across from Lost Light by Michael Connelly. A killer one, this.

"I'm a believer in the single bullet theory. You can fall in love and make love many times but there is only one bullet with your name etched on the side. And if you are lucky enough to be shot with that bullet then the wound never heals.
Roy Lindell might have had Martha Gessler's name on a bullet. I don't know. What I do know is that Eleanor Wish had been my bullet. She had pierced me through and through. There were other women before and other women since but the wound she left was always there. It would not heal right. I was still bleeding and I knew I would always bleed for her. That was just the way it had to be. There is no end of things in the heart."

Marry outside your religion

(Warning: Am writing this piece sipping on loads of extra strong beer, so if this sounds like an emotional jerk-off, it probably is.)

I am often accused of being fanatically pseudo secular, and truth be told, am quite proud of this tag. Every time I hear a Hindu friend is marrying a Muslim or a Christian or a Bawa or vice versa, I feel elated. Not because I consider myself to be a flag bearer of India’s alleged secularism, but because I have come to the conclusion that the religion-busting friend of mine may be helping in her/his small way in sorting out a very serious global problem.

It’s a no brainer that Mother Earth’s greatest bete noire, the root of terror, is the religious divide, which seems to be deepening with every passing day. Once, on the night of bomb blasts in Mumbai, after a few Patiala pegs, a few of us friends decided the best way out is for the world to divide itself into three hemispheres, based on major religions, and then to live and let live thereafter. Once the nasha came down, we realised how regressive such a step would be, and that it isn’t workable either. We’ll simply find a different set of enemies to wage wars against. In the Hindu hemisphere, the ‘upper castes’ would continue their strife with the ‘lower castes’, and in the Islamic zone, the Shias and the Sunnis will be doing ditto, and so on.

Which then brings me to the point: perhaps the best way ahead is we totally do away with all religious divides, build a world where we hate each other for things like snoring, bitching, honking, spitting, whatever, but not over the gods we chose to pray. And we can only arrive at that future, even if it takes hundreds of years to get there, if we marry outside our own communities today. As people mingle and mate freely, with time, religion will become an irrelevant factor.

The bad news, of course, is that this isn’t going to happen in a hurry. Even today, in highly educated wealthy households of urban India, we see a raging desire to marry ‘within our own’. The newspapers are full of reports of crimes against ‘defectors’, and a cursory look at matrimonial ads would tell you how utopian and crazy the thought is.

So, yes, I am daydreaming, I did warn you about the beer. But one thing’s for sure: to all those of you choosing to break the divide, even if you harbour no noble desires of changing the world, and are marrying for love, lust, money, whatever, my salutations. Cheers!

My Indian of The Year: Dr Prannoy Roy

The Indian news channels have been running silly contests on who would be the Indian of the year gone by, and some of the nominees mentioned range from the usual suspects to the ridiculous. So while there are the boring names like Amitabh Bachchan (what exactly has he done for the nation?), Nandan Nilekani (what exactly has he done for the city of Bangalore that’s gone to the dogs after the IT boom?) and Sachin Tendulkar (shouldn’t this ‘boy’ be contemplating gracious retirement?), there’s also Himmesh Reshammiya (are these guys thinking through their bloody noses?).
Ironically, the Indians of 2006, according to me, are the editors of our news channels, guys who preached AND practiced social activism like India has never seen before. And heading that list would be the good Dr Prannoy Roy of NDTV, the channel that led, catalysed and provoked public outrage against gross injustice. If Jessica and Priyadarshini found peace this year, it is mainly due to NDTV’s sustained campaign. I daresay if these guys had kept quiet, the files would still be collecting dust inside our hallowed courtrooms. They have demonstrated the power of the booming media and the burgeoning middle class in a new India that’s still mired in executive lethargy and corruption, and the way forward looks very encouraging.
People say the judiciary is the last hope of this country, I say it’s the media, led by people like Dr Roy.
My only hope for 2007 is that Dr Roy & Co stretch their energies and bandwidth to cover rural India as well, and recognise that the tragedy of a Priyanka Bhotmange is as significant as that of Jessica Lall. (Already witnesses of the Khairlanji murders are being threatened.)
I am planning on sending Dr Roy an e-mail congratulating him, and if you agree with me, leave your name in the comment box below, I will add it to the senders’ list.

Mumbai unsafe for women?
(Wrote this piece for the Mumbai Mirror, in case you missed it.)
The media has gone to town on the New Year night pics shot by a tabloid photographer. Those of a girl being molested at the Gateway. I think these Delhi-based channels have got yet another chance to trash the city as being totally unsafe for the ladies. This sort of story works for them… it’s their opportunity to scream, “Take that Mumbai, how dare you cast aspersions on sadi clean Dilli!” Well, here’s my take on the incident: Any woman who dares to hang around on city streets on a night like that, when, across the country, all the happening joints get taken over by extremely sloshed, sex starved taporis, is asking for trouble. These jerks are out to have a ‘good time’ outdoor (they can’t afford five star soirees), and some of them can, and will, take full advantage of heavy, yelling crowds. Which is why it’s perilous for ladies to be at Connaught Place in Delhi, or at Brigade Road in Bangalore, on December 31. And that’s the case too with the beaches and sea fronts of Mumbai. This is a known fact, which is why most of us keep away from these places as the year turns. Ergo, the reckless, bindaas babe who chose the Gateway to ring 2007 in, must take some responsibility for her foolhardy behaviour. Perhaps that’s the reason she still hasn’t come forth to file charges.

So then what can WE do for Priyanka?

A number of readers have written in to ask what we busy-with-our-own-lives guys can do to ensure torturers of Priyanka get their just desserts. And that already is a good sign… the fact that at least some of us care.
Well, my answer is quite simple: we need to put pressure on the three key constituencies that will eventually determine the fate of this case. The media. The State Government. And the Judiciary. Exactly what happened in the case of Jessica and Priyadarshini. And it’s important we do that, because we need to tell these people very clearly that we do also care for our people in the villages, that we are not immune to their problems. That, what happens in Mumbai and Delhi is as important to us as what happens in a Khairlanji or any other place in India. That, even if Priyanka wasn’t half as stunning looking as Jessica was, we still care.

What’s been happening till date?

Before I come to what we can do, here’s a quick look at the story so far.
Late last month, after sleeping over the incident for two whole months, Vilas Rao Deshmukh, the CM of Maharashtra, handed over the case to the CBI. Not just keeping vote bank politics in mind (the very angry Dalit community), but also because that was a firman passed by his boss, Soniaji. He has also, thank god for small mercies, ordered the case to be heard in a fast track court in Bhandara, a small town in Maharashtra.
A few days ago, the CBI filed a charge sheet against 11 individuals. The charge sheet was filed in the court of a judicial magistrate against them for murder, outraging the modesty of women, allegedly entering into a criminal conspiracy, unlawful assembly with deadly weapons, trespass and destruction of evidence as well as offences under the Scheduled Castes and Scheduled Tribes (Prevention of Atrocities) Act of 1989.
The CBI also plans to investigate the shoddy work done by the police so far, and has promised to file separate charge sheets against errant/corrupt officers.
The case is likely to come up for hearing early next year. So hopefully this atrocity won’t go down the Jessica Lall way… years and years of delay. However, what we need to keep in mind is this: in both the cases, that of Lall and Matoo, the Higher Courts in Delhi overturned the judgments of the trial courts, while casting serious aspersions on the efficiency and fairness of the latter. This is a significant observation for the Khairlanji trial as well.

What can we do?

Media: We need to exert sustained pressure on the media, both TV and Press, so that this case doesn’t vanish from their short-term memory loss suffering minds. Let’s also keep the issue alive on the blogs (as we are currently doing). Let’s send out provocative letters to editors, let’s shoot out mails and text messages to influential journos like Ms Barkha Dutt. I think the rest of us would have done a great job simply by aiming reminder darts at the media. And I say this cos as long as the media keeps the issue alive and hot, it will put pressure on investigating officers not to let up on the case, AND, it will put pressure on the judges to ensure fair and swift justice. We have learnt these lessons in the recent past. (There is a theory our judiciary cannot be influenced by the media, and I entirely disagree with it. Our judges haven’t landed from Mars, they live the same lives we live, they are one of us.)

The government and the judiciary: No, we don’t need to hit Bhandara to be heard by these segments. Instead, we need to do exactly what New Delhi did for Jessica. We need to carry placards and candles and hold peaceful demos at the Gateway of India. With simple messages like ‘WE CARE FOR PRIYANKA TOO.’ ‘WE DEMAND IMMEDIATE JUSTICE FOR KAHIRLANJI.’ I believe even if 50 of us do this on an odd Sunday morning, the media will catch on (most of them are content starved anyway), and through them, the message will get delivered to our mantris and our adalats. Write to me if this idea appeals to you, we’ll get together and ensure this happens.

However, I do admit I am quite challenged when it comes to ideas on such serious matters. My key strength, as some of you would know, is sensationalism. So if you have any bright ideas, please feel free to share.

Happy New Year!

Inside London’s deadliest mosque

A migrant from Somalia, 38-year-old Abdirahman Warsame has an unenviable job. He runs the controversial Finsbury Park mosque in London, from where the plot to blow up the underground trains was allegedly hatched. The mosque was associated with radical Islamism in the early 2000s, and many Al Qaeda terrorists, including ‘shoe bomber’ Richard Reid and Zacarias Moussaoui, are known to have attended the mosque.
On January 20, 2003 the mosque was raided by the London Police (they had to use a battering ram to break in), and a number of residents were arrested. And the hate-spewing Sheikh Abu Hamza al-Masri was removed from his position as Imam. Following the raid, the mosque was reclaimed by mainstream Muslims.
The extremists in London certainly don’t approve of Warsame’s accommodating ways, and the local white junta badly wants the mosque out of the way. You just can’t pass by the mosque without spotting police cars on stake out.
I meet the new chief in his office situated right next to the main prayer hall. Warsame has a computer, he has support from the trustees, he seems like a man to wants Islam’s image rectified. What I found most interesting, however, are his views on Indian Muslims. He finds them to be too chilled out for their own good.

Is there a great level of disconnect between the locals and the Muslims in London?
It’s not good. In fact, it’s worse now, especially after 9/11 and the tube bombings. Also, the rampant arrests of young Muslims is creating problems, people who are later found to be innocent. And there are the police raids on mosques, which is not good. Yes, the gap is widening between the Muslim and non Muslim communities. The fault also lies with a section of the national media, and politicians, who like to label Muslims as a terrorist community.

But can you really blame them? Most terrorists happen to be from the Muslim community?
I cannot deny there are a few extremists in our community, but that’s the case with other religions as well. So you cannot blame the whole community.

The truth is, both 9/11 and the London tube bombings were executed by followers of Islam.
That’s true, but we still cannot hold the entire community responsible for what some individuals do.

So what’s the solution to fill the cultural gap?
The solution has to come from both sides. The government has to correct its foreign policies. There’s the Iraq attack, then they have double standards on the Palestine issue. We saw the recent invasion of Lebanon, and Blair and Bush asking Israel to finish the job, which is not just.

But do military attacks justify terror strikes on innocent people?
No, absolutely not. Islam does not say to kill innocent people. That’s clear in the Koran. But we have to analyse the problem. These young people who carry out terror attacks have been brainwashed by extremists and so-called Muslim scholars. And what they use to brainwash these youngsters are the unjust foreign policies of our governments. And even if they don’t get brainwashed, they just have to follow the news to discover that it is only Muslims who are under attack all over the world. Iraq, Palestine, Lebanon, Kashmir, Chechnya… it’s the same story always.

So you are justifying terror attacks in different words…
I am not justifying terror activities. But at the same time, you cannot say there is no link between extremism and foreign policy. It would be very stupid and ridiculous to deny this link, that there is no connection between what happens in Iraq and what happens in the UK.

What activities does you trust undertake to strengthen bonds between communities?
We try to engage with the non-Muslim communities, we invite them to come to our mosque and be a part of it. We ask them to see it’s a place of worship, that it’s a nice place…

But the mosque has a very controversial past.
Definitely. Abu Hamza was here. He was promoting fanaticism and hatred, which was wrong.

You agree the raid on this particular mosque was correct.
I cannot say it was justified. But I totally agree this mosque was not good for Muslims.

So the government had no choice but to raid it.
I don’t know… they said there were terrorist training camps out here, but that was not the case.

They did find deadly arms and ammunition, though.
(Interrupts.) I don’t know about that. All I know is Hamza was not good, but that did not justify a raid. But he is in prison now, and we have a new management.

But Omar Brooks (a fanatic UK Muslim leader), who’s been making remarks supporting terror attacks, still visits this place.
(Skirts the question.) I don’t know about that. But the new management promotes a multi-cultural society. We understand we are a minority here, and we need to respect other faiths. We are actively trying to engage with other communities, including Christians, Jews and Hindus. We want to preach that Islam is a peaceful religion, it’s not violent. We are also trying to engage with anti people in our community, we are telling them there are other peaceful, democratic ways to protest. Some people think that by doing violence they create fear in the other communities’ minds, and that’s ridiculous.

Let’s get real about this. What options does the community have? If the government is not going to listen to the problems of Muslims, what can they do?
We have examples of other communities. The Jews were expelled from Europe, but now they are a very influential community. There are ways in which you can influence politics. You have to participate in politics, you can’t isolate yourself. We need to fight this mentality of victim hood.

It’s true the conspiracy to bomb the tubes was hatched in this mosque.
I can’t say for sure, I wasn’t here at the time. I had never entered this mosque before I joined.

But surely you must have information on this.
I have to go by what the police says, I trust them on this.

What according to you is the solution to the Kashmir dispute?
(Hesitates.) Lots of young Kashmiris are complaining about the policies of the Indian government, they say it’s not just. Lots of young Muslims believe the western countries are siding with India.

But America is blatantly pro Pakistan. You know that.
That’s a convenient alliance. They need Pakistan’s help to combat the Taliban and other terrorists.

What should happen in Kashmir?
They must give the Kashmiri people the choice of self-determination. If they want to join Pakistan, let them do so. If they want to join India, then let that be.

Don’t local fanatics dislike what you are doing?
Yes, they do. These people don’t have enough knowledge of Islam. I want to challenge them.

Do they threaten you to follow their ways?
They do. But we talk it out with them, we discuss things with them. That’s why we have established a youth club in the mosque.

Your comments on the whites in UK.
We live side by side, but we don’t talk to each other, we don’t even know each other! We can’t change that easily. And that’s the biggest problem.

Your message for Indian Muslims.
They must engage the government in a positive way, they must help in building their nation.

Are you proud that unlike elsewhere in the world, most Muslims in India tend to be moderates?
To be honest, what I dislike about Indian Muslims is that they go onto the other extreme! They just don’t get involved enough in matters of the State. I don’t think they try to influence decision making enough.