Grow up, SRK!

It was cringe-making, watching SRK whine endlessly on the TV channels all of Independence Day (he even managed to get the Red Fort and swine flu off the headlines), cribbing and carping about the extended security interrogation.
What’s the big deal, yaar? Every nation has the right to protect itself, to introduce processes and procedures that reduce chances of terror attack on its soil. If we don’t approve of its ways, there’s always that easy option: don’t go there!

SRK enjoys cult status in India, and within the NRI community abroad. They love, adore and revere the star, and clearly, all this insane adulation has gone to his head. He now expects every earthling to go down on him, and naturally, that’s not gonna happen. For an American security officer, the name Shah Rukh Khan means zilch. To him or her, all that matters is effective execution of the security protocol laid down in the book. And I admire them for this, I respect them for doing their jobs. If Muslims get peeved at being racially profiled at American ports, they must accept that it was Islamic fundamentalists who brought the twin towers down (and badly damaged America’s pride), so naturally people with Muslim names would be scanned a bit more than the rest. This is the way things are, and cannot be changed in the short run. Sadly, all the good Muslims of the world have to suffer because of the crimes committed by a few, but that’s the harsh reality. I mean, if it was a bunch of Parsis who flew aircraft into buildings, names like Mistry, Contractor and Karkaria would be scanned more carefully.

Star-loving Indians would argue that SRK is a global icon, and all that the ‘offending’ officer had to do was consult his/her ‘more informed’ Jet Airways colleagues. That’s true. But he/she won’t do that. One, because that’s not the option listed in the rule book. And American security officers are supposed to follow the rules (perhaps that’s a concept we desis just don’t understand). And two, even if the star gets recognised, how can one be 100% sure it really is SRK??? It could be a look-alike chappie from the by-lanes of Murdike, travelling on a false passport, courtesy Bin Laden! Remember, terror agents think ten steps ahead of security agencies. They innovate big, they are the guys with big ideas. (9/11 was the single biggest idea of the century.)

Net, net: SRK, like the rest of the adult world, should simply have taken the harsh questioning in the right spirit, and moved on. And if he gets pissed with these procedures, he must simply quit doing that nation. Two, I personally am very pleased by the news. If a demi-god can be scanned so hard, it makes me really feel safe travelling in that country. Good for you, America!

I entirely blame the media

By now, it is abundantly clear to every Indian that when shit hits the ceiling in this country, it’s each man or woman for his/her own. And if you still believe that the great Indian State will bail you out of the mess, then you must be a chap who still believes in Rakhi Sawant.

Whether it’s a terror attack or a flu virus, you will have to save your own arse. The government reps will only gas inside TV studios, the crooks will clean you out of your money, selling masks and meds in black, and the government run hospitals will ensure even if you didn’t contract swine flu, you got other deadly diseases, thanks to the utter lack of hygiene and discipline in their premises.

Which is why there’s chaos on the streets; people are running around like headless chicken, ignorant of what to do and who to run to when that dreaded sneeze arrives. So all we have is panic and more panic.

To my mind, the biggest villain of the story is the media. In a desperation to outdo one another on the blistering flu coverage, all they have done is to alarm the public, leading to mass hysteria in the hospitals and medical shops. Just imagine if this was 1984. The flu would have come and gone, possibly a few hundred people would have died (a thousand time more die of malaria, TB, car crashes, AIDS, common cold, dowry deaths, terror attacks and cancer), and life would have moved on as usual. For the affected, and the docs, the masks would have been easily available at the market price, and Tamiflu makers would not have made a needless killing.

All the media had to do was run basic safety precautions in a box on Page 10. Or a little section on a news bulletin, and that’s about it.

But try telling that to editors and content heads who would invent a problem to raise their TRPS and readership figures, if none existed. The virus exists!