Sunday 27 July 2008

Shocked, awed & screwed

Okay, so here’s the deal: we CANNOT ever hope for our governments and intelligence agencies to save our skin. Let’s just accept that once and for all. The netas and their officers are either too busy making each other richer to stay in power, or are simply inefficient, or are too politically motivated to do anything concrete (the Congress, for instance, would never do anything to flush out terror agents in our midst at the risk of hurting its so-called minority vote bank). Or it’s a combo of all these.

From hereon, it’s each man and woman for his/her own. We have to protect ourselves. And make caution a part of our daily lifestyle, our DNA. So at any public place, we have to keep a sharp eye on suspicious objects and suspicious people. At the slightest of doubt, we have to raise an alarm. Be it a suspicious character on a bus-ride, or the package lying unattended on the stray bicycle. There will be a million false alarms, but no matter.

In a sting operation I did for the Mirror last year, on the ann of the Bombay train blasts, I was shocked to find no one bothered to stop me when I left my bag behind in buses, trains and malls. This apathy simply has to go, there is no option.

Just as staring hard at pretty women, jumping queues, spitting and pissing in public places has become a part of our persona, so must the habit of exercising caution. I am changing this aspect of myself, and so must you. Good luck, mate!

Wednesday 23 July 2008

Why blame the netas?

Commentator after commentator on the tube and the print media has been having a blistering go at our maha corrupt netas, following the sordid spectacle in the parliament house, the shrill cry being that the politicians have failed this nation, that they have shamed India, that they are all chors, blah and blah.

What amazes me is this: why is everyone wasting time over stuff that we have known for years together? Did anyone seriously expect the trust motion to pass smoothly without money exchanging hands and without shady deals being brokered? Especially with foxy fixers like Amar Singh in full flow? And with convicts seated comfortably in seats of power?

So all this whining is a waste of time and precious newsprint. What we all tend to conveniently forget is this: those 341 maha atmas in the corridors of power haven't landed there from space. Not only have we put them out there, they are a part of the independent India we have created together, they are a mirror to the society we have all jointly build, they are us. So trashing these mighties is nothing more than an amusing exercise in self-flagellation.

If this nation no longer throws up leaders like Gandhi and Nehru and Tilak and Bose it is because such souls don't exist in our current times, what does exist is blokes like Amar Singh. Let's deal with this, man: corruption exists in every sphere of our life today, we all live and breathe it every single day. We bribe cops to duck fines, we bribe municipal folks to get our development plans passed, we bribe electricity guys to steal power, we bribe the RTO guys to get driving licenses, we cut deals with netas to get projects passed, we bribe tax guys to save on tax, we bribe clerks to get ration cards and passports, we bribe custom officials to bring in goodies tax-free, we bribe touts and deans to get college admissions, we even try to bribe judges to get favorable judgments! Do you really want me to list the dirty laundry? So how can a nation like that expect saints like Gandhi to be leaders?

Net: Remember that every time you give a gaali to the debauched neta, you are actually giving it to yourself. Because he/she is you.

Tuesday 15 July 2008

Mockery of justice

Blog reader Jenny says I must be busy gloating over the fact that a month and a half back (see May 30 post) I had expressed the view that Talwar may not be guilty of killing his daughter, and that an innocent man could be facing the nightmare of his life. Let me post her comments here.

Jenny: “I am sure you must be gloating that you said Talwar was innocent and "I told u so" must be written all over ur face BUT I am laughing at the way the journalists r falling all over talwars feet and saying sorry to him...I mean if they thot they were doing their job then why undo it now?? journalism has reached such a low that journos don’t know what questions to put to the talwars..I mean asking him if he will sue the police?? What do they expect a man who is still an accused and only out on bail to say?? some journos even went to the extent of undergoing a narco test to see what cud be revealed...who allowed these tests? who conducted them without a doctor’s prescription to do so? and why undergo a test which is equal to undergoing general anesthesia?? why did they not do it when abu salem a hardcore criminal underwent a similar test?? secondly anil don’t u feel the talwars r getting away scot free?? they had a teenage daughter at home...don’t they lock the male servants OUT before going to sleep in a room with the AC on?? (renuka choudhary are u sleeping) abroad this wud have amounted to neglect on the part of the parents. why was hemraj allowed to entertain his friends inside the house?? why did the durranis say that rajkumar was at home that night?? shud the UP police be sued?? I don’t know but someone mislead them convincingly....so that enough time was bought to cover evidence? I am still not convinced, ARE YOU?”

And here’s my response. Jenny, no, I am really not gloating, cos it’s simply too early for that lovely emotion. The CBI has not declared Talwar innocent so far, and who knows what lies ahead in this intricate game of snakes and ladders? However, one thing looks very possible: unless the officers locate the murder weapon (which is increasingly becoming dicey), this case is bound to misfire, and everyone will go free in the end. (What people say under trance is invalid in court, and that’s pretty much all evidence the sleuths have.)

So my prediction wasn’t about declaring the dad not guilty (who am I to do that?), it was about a hugely bungled police investigation, and a concern that this tragedy could befall any one of us tomorrow. My issue really is with the fact that the entire investigative machinery needs to be re-engineered, so that innocent people don’t suffer under any circumstances. Will that happen? Sadly, I have my doubts. Maybe Talwar must eventually sue, perhaps that will put some pressure on the system.

As for your comments on the role of the media, you are absolutely right; the journos have behaved liked idiots right through the process. The media has failed, it’s come out like a joker in this sordid story. And I am aghast that they are still not learning… how can they say sorry to the dentist while the case is still on??? Beats me completely. Yup, the Indian media is getting dumb and dumber, and hopefully we shall see some re-engineering here as well.

Finally, yes, you are right. Whatever else may or may not happen, for sure the parents must be charged for criminal neglect of a teen child. There can be NO access into the house for a male servant after hours, when you have a young daughter sleeping all alone, and you have bought air conditioners that make sounds of whirring airplanes. That must definitely happen, as a lesson for all careless parents.

Thursday 10 July 2008

A fixed democracy




Amar Singh is a known fixer, his only talent is being able to cut shady deals. That is a known fact. And now finding himself in a situation where the 150 year old Congress party depends on him for its own survival, you can well imagine the goldmine that lies ahead for this portly fixer.

In the coming two weeks, apart from many criminal cases being dropped (and brand new ones launched) many MPs are going to get seriously rich as they get bought over like cattle and sheep, and one way or another, we the idiotic tax payers are going to paying for it.

When it comes to filing my taxes, this downside of our faulty democracy is the reason I give my chartered accountant much strife. Although I don’t earn much these days, I make sure I end up paying as less tax as possible (and some of the saving I use to sponsor my very old ex maid’s health… there, I shamelessly claimed it!). I often get castigated by my CA… he says how will this nation run if we all don’t pay our due taxes. While I fundamentally agree with that view, my grouse is only a fraction of what we pay ends up in looking after the nation, a whole lot vanishes in shady deeds. So my idea is to minimise the outflow, and use the rest into making sure the money goes to the really needy and the really deserving. And definitely not to whoring MPs.

And my bigger problem is with us tax payers: we just don’t seem to want to care about what becomes of our taxes. When that happens, when that day arrives when the nation’s honest junta revolts against this robbery of our hard-earned money, I will celebrate our democracy. Right now, we are all paying for Amar Singh’s cute services, and there’s nothing the world’s largest democracy can do about that but sit back and watch.

Jai Hind!

Saturday 5 July 2008

The missing netas

Like many others, I find it shocking that neither did the nation’s big mantris, nor did the chiefs of the navy and the air force thought it fit to pay Manekshaw their last respects.

Even if they did not consider the soldier worthy of this honour (which is appalling in any case… this officer and his men altered the map of South Asia, no less), their presence at his funeral would surely have made many a young jawan feel proud of himself and his work. Would surely have injected a huge dose of motivation down the ranks, a great reminder that the nation honours and values their services.

I mean, if our bada sahibs don’t give a fig for a hero like Sam Bahadur, one can well imagine the sort of respect they carry in their hearts for our jawans. Is it any wonder then that no one really wants to join the army, and more often than not, the ones that do, do so for lack of lucrative civilian career options. What’s the point of singing war anthems and saluting our brave soldiers on the Independence Day when the rest of the year we give a damn when the bravest of them dies.

Come to think of it, perhaps Manekshaw might have wanted it this way. All his life he lived on his conditions, showing scant respect for the political class. I don’t think he would have missed these netas much on his last journey.