Saturday, 31 October 2015

Esther’s recklessness


Of course, her assaulter deserves to get the harshest punishment, that is a fricking no-brainer. The fact that it will take some more years to get Esther Anuyha justice is what rankles the most. But that’s the way justice is doled out in this country, so we have to live with it. (For those not familiar with the crime story, here’s a link: Click here.

And today I am going to say something similar to what I had said in a column way back in the year 2007, a column for which I was roundly dissed by feminists. (This was in reference to the rape and murder of a Pune techie.) Although the headline I had used at the time was provocative (and I later apologized for it), the essence of my piece I still stand by: Indian men, in general, cannot be trusted, and therefore women travelling alone have to be always on their guard, whether they like it or not. Sure, we need to reform our men, but that could take centuries, even more. In the meantime, women have to take some amount of responsibility for their own safety.

In Esther’s case, it wasn’t wrong to accept a ride if a cool bargain was on offer. Most of us would take it, in any case cabbies and autorick drivers at Kurla station are notorious for thuggery. But when she discovered, outside the station, that the chap had no cab, only a bike ride on offer, under no circumstances should she have accepted the offer. Instead, the young woman  should have screamed out aloud to attract attention, given that the creep was refusing to return her luggage. By choosing to go ahead with the ride, Esther behaved in a reckless manner. As an educated, independent working woman, she ought to have exercised better judgment. Surely she would have read about the Pune techie murder (and the one in Bangalore before that).
 
Once again, yes, the criminal needs to pay, and no, I am NOT blaming the poor victim. But it is equally true that a life could have been saved if the victim had played safe. We don’t live in Utopia, dear feminists. We live in India, a nation packed with frustrated perverts.

Chhota Don

Okay, so the dreaded chhota bhai has been arrested, but I find it funny that certain people believe this will lead to the capture of bada bhai. If chhota had the skills, ideas and the network required to nail bada, he would have done so a long time ago, their enmity is the stuff of legends.    

Rather, it is to save himself from bada bhai that the ageing mafia leader seems to have decided to check into a prison. There’s also the issue of his failing health. In short, the man, when he is deported to India, would serve the nation little purpose. And will become yet another burden on the taxpayer. Best to let him chill in Bali.

Diwali nuisance

Sadly, the SC has allowed the junta to continue to blast bombs on Diwali. Here was an opportunity to kill the noise once and for all, but the esteemed court blew it. I really think the court should have put a stop to sound, while allowing the lights to go on. In this manner people still get to follow ‘tradition’, but without giving heart attacks to fellow citizens. There are various ways to measure the level at which a nation finds itself on the evolutionary scale. Festival celebrations is one such in the Indian context. The fact that we want to continue to blast the peace of the elderly, the ailing, the babies and the pets, tells us we haven’t evolved one bit in all these years.    

Award wapsi

So many creative people are busy returning their awards. I wish to do it too, but there’s a tiny hitch. I had won the columnist of the year award in 2002, the only significant award I have won in my life (not counting the few I won in inter-school sack race competitions). I have lost the plaque. Guess the domestic help chucked it, believing it to be kachrapatti.



Saturday, 24 October 2015

Fiery joints



Eight people died in the Kurla restaurant fire. Just like that. Their only fault was to eat lunch in a dodgy pad. And guess what? These things will keep happening in a city like Mumbai. One, because real estate is super expensive, therefore proprietors will use every square centimeter available, and when none is left, they will create space by erecting false ceilings. And gas cylinders will be precariously parked wherever parking space can be eked out. This is a pretty common sight, rendering many food joints prone to fire attacks. Two, corruption in the municipal corporation. Licenses are often bought by these space-starved restaurants, and they get renewed with the same method. The BMC is currently indulging in song and dance about ‘unsafe’ eateries, and they will stop the nautanki moment the eight lost lives are forgotten.

So what’s the solution? Simple, really. Modify the law, and declare that when an inferno rages in any restaurant, and it’s a result of unsafe practices followed by the owner, the licensing officer will be tried for culpable homicide. And he/she will face punishment under that section. Jail time for a few will quickly sort out this recurring problem. Remember this: Our cities are packed with people that belong to the lower middle class, and with cash strapped students. They have no option but to dine at cheap restaurants, and so it becomes the duty of the BMC to do its job.

As an aside, here’s the list of the eight dead: Two Hindus. Three Christians. Three Muslims. The fire didn’t check who was eating vegetarian or non-vegetarian. Or who was eating fish or chicken or beef. It treated everyone equally. If the current dispensation learns a lesson from the fire, the eight lives won’t totally have been wasted. 

Of dogs and pups

Listening to (Ex) General VK Singh’s talks these days, one begins to wonder if the soldier would fire first and then examine the identity of his victim. The newly-minted mantri’s insensitive remarks have been bringing his party a great deal of grief, and the latest one is use of dogs as an analogy while discussing the murder of Dalit kids. As usual, everyone wants the PM to condemn the analogy. In this instance Shri Modi can be forgiven for his silence. Didn’t he use the analogy of puppies, a couple of years ago, while talking about the Gujarat riots? Same difference chhe.  

Courier trauma

I had to ‘FedEx’ a letter to Bangalore last week, and a routine event such as this turned out to be a stressful activity. On Tuesday, after ‘confirmed booking’, the pick-up dude did not turn up. Frantic calls to the FedEx call center yielded no answers, calls to call centers seldom do. Thankfully, the document wasn’t urgent, and so I decided to dispatch it on Friday. No sign of the pick-up man again, despite another ‘confirmed booking’. At this stage their slogan, ‘Relax, it’s FedEx’, started buzzing in my head, sending my BP go up several points. (‘Relax, have a Charminar’, would have been more relaxing.) I decided to take the law into my own hands, and after a little spade work, located the pick-up man who services my locality. Amar, the very sweet chap, flashed a lovely smile, checked his records, and triumphantly announced that no booking had been made by me. Ah, but the lady with the sexy voice ‘confirmed’ the booking, I protested. Amar shrugged. I am sure she was chatting on WhatsApp while dealing with me, I then suggested. Amar flashed his lovely smile again. Am sure he’d want to be relocated to their call center, any call center for that matter. They reward bullshit talk in these places, or so I have concluded.   

The one and only Viru


Viru Sehwag was truly unique, and deserves all the adulation he is getting in the media. Though it’s another matter that he should have retired a few years ago, the blaster’s batting had gotten severely jaded, he wasn’t going to be picked anyway. A lot has been written on Viru’s technique, or rather the lack of it. So let me just say this: When on a roll, the man was a compelling watch, you wouldn’t budge from your seat, not even to take a pee break. And if you suffered from a weak bladder, you were in serious trouble. Don’t think any other Indian batsman has had such a powerful hold on cricket fans. 

Saturday, 17 October 2015

Senanigoons





Mass media and social media went after the Shiv Sena, all guns blazing. Folks on Twitter were sweating hard to come up with new metaphors. ‘Stained the nation black’ wouldn’t do, it’s much too trite, best left to television anchors. And of course, everything was quickly forgotten, as is the case with our ultra busy media. Forgotten faster than the time diligent sisters at Harkisandas Hospital took to unstain Shri Kulkarni, if not the nation.   

The question no one asks whenever the Sena boys go wild is this: Why do they indulge in such nefarious deeds? If people cared to ask, they’d figure there is a perfectly rational answer for it, and therefore such deeds will find periodic occurrence. The Sena needs to make its presence felt now and then, and Pakistani politicians and artistes become easy meat (not beef!). They have known for the longest time that street tamasha goes down rather nicely with their core voters, and therefore it’s an effective strategy. Their voters don’t get much impressed by pot-hole free roads or collected garbage, and definitely not by the prospect of a breezy Mumbai night life. They want the Sena men to flex muscles at real and imaginary enemies, this is their way of outsourcing glory. Thing is, if you don’t fear the Sena, their party is pooped. Bal Thackeray knew this pretty well, and so does his equally feisty nephew, Raj. Uddhav and son, both essentially chilled out guys, have tried their best to do cool stuff, but it hasn’t worked. And so the dadagiri must go on.

Once we get this, hyperventilating will stop in the media the next time the ink bottle is opened. So then what must restless tweeters do? Nothing. Sit back, tighten the seat belt, and enjoy the tamasha. And hope you are not on the stage when it happens.


Er, what about the cash?

Upset with the government’s ‘communal politics’, more and more laureates are busy returning their Sahitya Academi awards, as a mark of protest. The question is: Is this activity giving the prime minister sleepless nights? Is it making him turn secular? I doubt it. He’s got four more years in office, this is not the time to worry about awards being returned, or fret over polarization activities being conducted by his ‘fringe’ pals. Being a good Gujju, it’s time to collect air miles, do as much tourism as possible (with khakhra packets as carry-on baggage), and get some selfies shot with the likes of Zuckerberg (and keep an eye on the ‘likes’ meter). He will worry about mundane stuff from back home in the last six months in the grand office. And by the way, the Sahitya plaque comes along with a cash prize. Wonder if the peeved writers are returning the moolah, too.

Bar blues

Dance bar girls won’t be back in business anytime soon, the Maharashtra government wants to continue to keep the music turned off. This despite the SC shooting out an order in the girls’ favour. I am not sure how many of them were selling their bodies post the dance show, it is likely that some were. What we definitely know is that once the shutters came down on the bars for good, thousands of bar girls had to ‘graduate’ to prostitution, to support the lifestyle they had become accustomed to, and to feed multiple mouths back home. Although it must be said that during the sting operation I did for Mid Day in the year 2005, immediately after the bars were closed down, none of the bar balas agreed to sleep with me, ouch! Here’s a link to that sad story. 


Maahi’s lost (and found) mojo

It’s unfair to expect Maahi to continue to be his 2011 avatar, when the world was at his feet. Ups and downs happen to most of us in our careers, and for sportspeople, it’s even more likely to happen. As they say, time and tide must take a toll on all. In Kanpur, fans were screaming for his blood, in Indore, the captain hit back by winning the match almost solo. However, Maahi must accept that things aren’t going to be the same anymore, inconsistency has gradually crept into his performance. Indore has kept him inside the team for another year, but cool-headed that he is, Maahi must start planning his next career move, so that he departs on a high. Many of his predecessors had to be physically dragged out of the cricket field, hope our most successful cricket captain doesn’t have to face the same ignominy. 

Monday, 31 August 2015

Sociopath Indrani



While guilt is still to be proved, and the final verdict could take several years, I have to say Indrani’s character sketch, as has been drawn so far, indicates clear signs of a sociopathic condition. I state this with a degree of conviction because of the research I did for my recent book, An Invitation To Death. Because the book is based on the life of a psychopathic serial killer, I studied the key characteristics of psychopaths and sociopaths. Both, from scientific and social viewpoints.  

International research done over the years on sociopaths indicates clear behavioural patterns, and you’d notice Indrani scores positive on each one of these. Let’s study them.

Sociopaths find it tough to maintain relationships. Indrani’s multiple marriages and various other alleged alliances have been well documented. Sociopaths get involved in multiple relationships because they find it difficult to survive with a single partner, simply because they are incapable of feeling love. This will become clearer as we examine other characteristics.

Sociopaths are manipulative. Indrani scores an A+ on this one, her entire life seems to have been built on manipulating people to forward her own agendas. She manipulated her parents, assorted partners and children, and possibly work colleagues, into taking part in schemes that benefited only her. This would explain her second husband’s role in the murder conspiracy. She would have conned him into it.

Sociopaths are liars, they will hide their past. This needs no elaboration, you only have to ask Peter Mukerjea. Poor chap, he knew nothing about his wife of thirteen years. Not even that the girl who was fondly addressing him as ‘jiju’ for all these years was his step-daughter.

Sociopaths are charming. And charmers find it that much easier to manipulate. I didn’t personally know the lady, but I can say one thing with certainty: A small-time HR player from Guwahati can’t turn into a media honcho in Mumbai, in a matter of a few years, unless there’s some serious allure at work. Husband Peter, say other Page 3 types, was besotted with her years into the marriage. Solid charm.  

Sociopaths are low on emotion. If a mother can cold-bloodedly plan and execute the killing of her own biological daughter, clearly Indrani feels zero emotions in her heart. Indeed, it is this ‘quality’ of sociopaths that makes them great CEOs of organizations (they take purely rational decisions), but it could also lead to criminal activity. Because they feel no empathy, sociopaths don’t bother about the hurt they cause to others.

Sociopaths have no regard for law and social norms. Because sociopaths are enormously narcissistic, their only goal, in whatever they do, is self-fulfillment. With complete disregard for the rights of fellow human beings. This is why sociopaths are prone to crime, because they could get violent with ‘inconvenient’ people. Sheena Bora discovered this at a heavy price.

Sociopaths feel no guilt for their misdeeds. Because their brain is wired to be self-centered, and because they run low on emotional fuel, chances of spotting remorse in sociopaths is nil. Notice that days after hard interrogation, Indrani continues to plead not guilty. And she is likely to do that in the courts too. Not just because she is trying to save herself, but it’s very likely she is convinced she did no wrong.

Sociopaths are likely to have suffered childhood trauma. Skeletons tumbling out of Indrani’s dark closet indicate this. There are reports she used to get beaten up by her (step?) dad. Journalist Vir Sanghvi tells us she might have been molested as a child, or worse.

The question is: Why is it important to classify Indrani as a sociopath? This is because sociopaths and psychopaths often have brain structures that are different from those of normal people. One study indicates there is a thinning of the outer layer of the cortex, and this is the seat in the brain that controls emotions. With deformity in this area, sociopaths are not able to control their actions. It is important to study these factors clinically because they aid in two ways: One, they could help us detect sociopathic tendencies early, and could help control crime. Two, once we accept it’s a medical condition, judges would have to take this into account before sentencing a criminal.

In other words, apart from matching blood and DNA samples, forensics experts need to be trained in studying brain scans if sociopathic condition is suspected. A scan of Indrani’s brain, for example, is sure to reveal interesting findings.

Meanwhile if you are dating someone who is demonstrating the above-mentioned characteristics, rain check on the relationship would be a good idea.

(Image courtesy: Confessions of a Sociopath - A Life Spent Hiding In Plain Sight. By M. E. Thomas)


Sunday, 30 August 2015

Playing chess with Rakesh Maria


I did an interview with Rakesh Maria (for GQ) in 2012. Must say I found him to be likeable, and that’s not a word I usually associate with Mumbai cops. I am sure he is right now enjoying the game of chess he is playing with Indrani. And he will checkmate her very soon. Here’s a question I had asked him and his response.

You are famous for your skills in ‘breaking’ your suspects without the use of the so-called third degree. How do you do it?


The type of terrorists and criminals we are dealing with today, they won’t break so easily. And this third degree stuff is meant only for films. You have to break them psychologically. To begin with, the investigation has to be thorough, so you know the complicity of the culprits. The culprits also assess you during an interrogation, to find out how much you know. And once they realize you know things, it becomes difficult for them keep telling lies. It’s like a game of chess. I am a firm believer that one needs to interrogate an accused on one’s own. You cannot depend on the interrogation reports or feedback from the juniors. I have personally interrogated every accused person in every case that I have handled. I love trying to understand the psychology of a criminal, to understand what makes the criminal do the act, and how he/she tries to hide his/her crime.

Tuesday, 28 July 2015

What’s so special about this man?



It’s overwhelming to read the words of fondness pouring out from all parts of the country in memory of one man. Many of us were not around when Gandhi died, so to witness affection on a mass scale for a departed leader is indeed a novel experience.

Why is Kalam evoking such strong national reactions, all positive? Is it because he helped build a nuclear missile? Is it because he connected with kids? Is it because he was inspirational? Or is it because he was India’s president for one term? The last appears implausible, Indian presidents aren’t taken seriously at all, most have been gold studded rubber stamps. (Pratibha Patil would top the list.)

I think the hysterical adulation is because of other reasons. The key one being this: He was the kind of leader that contemporary India aspires for but has failed to get. Talented, honest, passionate about his work, passionate about his country, a leader who wore his heart on the sleeve. Kalam reached the pinnacle of success, but remained completely rooted right till his last breath. This is what made the masses connect with him; he was one of us. Sadly for India, we haven’t had leaders like that. We have had netas who fit into one of these categories: Accused of mass murder. Accused of corruption. Accused of sloth. Accused of immorality. And accused of nation division. Kalam was the silver lining that shone in the proverbial dark cloud. And naturally therefore, we all want a piece of him.

The other reason is he embodied the original idea of India, the foundation on which this nation was built. That you will be judged purely on your talent and integrity, regardless of what your religion, caste or linguistic background is. Even as a deeply divided nation, a nation that carries many prejudices, we all come together today to mourn the loss of one Indian. This is because deep down inside, every Indian wants to believe in the original idea of India. An idea that has got corrupted because we never got the leaders we deserve. Leaders like APJ Kalam.

Rest in peace.

Thursday, 2 July 2015

Why do our netas disappoint us?



Why does nothing ever change in terms of governance? Each election we dutifully line up to vote (confession: I never have and never will, unless they threaten to send me to prison), but it’s the same story: Messed-up cities, suicidal farmers, scams, nepotism, impropriety, crude behaviour in public, crony capitalism, ‘VIP’ culture, you know the drill. And it’s happening all over again.

The easy and the most popular answer is this: All politicians are corrupt. lazy and inefficient. When we say that, we completely shrug off our responsibility, and move on with our dreary lives. And so of course, nothing changes. I believe the problem lies within us. Having interacted with politicians over the years, of all ages and hues, I have discovered that many of them don’t start off their careers like that. When they are younger, or new to the top job, many aspire to make a difference to people’s lives, but lose their way as they go along. Two recent examples are Fadnavis and Kejriwal.

I seriously don’t think Fadnavis arrived with his bags from Nagpur thinking he’d overlook misdemeanours by his colleagues or that he’d hold up international flights or that he’d be happy to see Mumbai go further down the tube. On the contrary. The sincerity he displayed in his initial days in office was not a deception. Ditto with Kejriwal, who I did an interview with (for Mumbai Mirror) during the days he had just created his party, was a political wannabe, and no one gave him a chance. But his desire to change Delhi’s fortunes was real, his intentions were honourable, and he actually believed in ’people’s movement’. It was easy to see honesty in his eyes. But the less said of Kejriwal of 2015 the better. He’s finding innovative ways to let his voters down spectacularly.

And these are just two recent examples. So then what went wrong? What went wrong is We, The People. Let me explain with an example. In the year 2003 I had gone to interview the then CM of Maharashtra, Shri Sushil Kumar Shinde, at his office (for Mid Day). As it typically happens with most active politicians, he was nowhere to be seen at the appointed hour, and I was horrified to see hundreds of people already waiting for the big man. This meant if the mantri decided to attend to them first, I would be kept hanging for hours and hours, perhaps the whole day. (Yikes!)

As soon as Shinde arrived (two hours late, not bad!), the hundreds of those waiting converged on him and fell his feet, colliding with each other in the process. Who were these people? Ordinary folks looking for a quick favour. School admission, sanction of a loan, relief from police harassment, job in a government firm and so on. And there were those who decided to fall at his feet as a ‘future investment’. The scene was similar to what would happen at his Puttaparthi ashram when Sathya Sai Baba appeared to grant ‘darshan’. Even though I was cringing at the sight, I knew this activity goes on all the time, with every neta, in every part of the country.

Now when you get treated like god, day in and day out, you need to be a person of very strong character and values to not let it go into your head. And you don’t need research to tell you that post-independence India boasts of many things, not included in that list is people with those qualities. For the average Joe, this heady cocktail of power, perks and blind mass reverence is a trip difficult to handle, the neta’s mind goes for a toss, he begins to think of himself as a superior being, Son of a Greater God. And the first thing that evaporates is the good intentions he had carried with him to the job.

The question therefore is this: Why are we a subservient nation? There is no easy answer to that. It could be because of poverty and illiteracy. Or because our masses are basically insecure people, having been repeatedly let down by their leaders. I suspect the number one reason is the colonial hangover which refuses to go away with the passage of time. The goras are long gone, but we are still on our fricking knees.

What’s the cure for this hangover? When will we begin treating our politicians as co-workers, on equal terms, as it happens in the developed world? I have no idea. I can suggest remedies for booze hangover, not for this.   

(Photo courtesy: Indian Express)