Should we do biz with Modi?

India’s business barons are keeling over each other, desperately wanting to invest in Gujarat. CM Narendra Modi has had them eating out his hands, and the list is by no means thin. It reads heavyweight names like Ratan Tata, Anil Ambani and Anand Mahindra.

And why not too? Gujarat has promised many incentives and Modi is a man determined to bring prosperity to his State, in fact Gujarat is economically the most progressive State in the nation. Also, unlike many other CMs we know, Modi is a kick arse leader, he will come down hard on anyone who dares to even toy with the idea of doing a Singur on Gujju land, the man is a visionary, and has great ideas on the way forward.

Also, Gujaratis adore their leader, they will make sure their ‘Chhote Sardar’ wins by handsome margins in any election, which also provides stability to investors. The worst thing that can happen to businessmen is frequent changes of governments and leaders.

So far so good.

The question to ask is, should ethics, humanity and morality be damned by our tycoons? Should they ignore Modi’s very nefarious role in the 2002 riots? Can they simply forget about the fact that many Gujarati Muslims still need to be resettled, punishment has still to be awarded to the murderers and rapists? Can they duck the truth that even the judiciary lost faith in the courts of Gujarat? How can one do business in a State where one section of the populace is disgruntled, unhappy and angry?

Sure, I know I am talking like a fossilised loser out here, no business is ever done on emotion. As they say, ‘Ganda hai par dhanda hai!’ I recall Sanjeev Kumar’s cutting line in Trishul, and it’s my own reality check every time I see the movie: “Agar jazbaaton se business hota, to aaj har bhikari karodpati hota.” The Tatas and the Ambanis are only interested in stuff like ROI, Toplines and Bottomlines, as they should be.

However, since I am a loser, I would refuse to sleep with the enemy only to fatten my balance sheet. I would first demand Modi clean up his house, be just in his actions, and only then would I sign deals with him. But then, I am loser, and now you know why.

Going back to Trishul, if I ever meet Modi after his financial windfalls, this is what I would be tempted to say to Motabhai: “Aaj aap ke paas aap ki saari daulat sahi, sab kuch sahi, lekin maine aap se zyaada gareeb aaj tak nahin dekha.”

Shilpa’s prob is our prob

Yes, I know, enough has already been written on Shilpa Shetty’s abuse on UK’s Big Brother, I also know it’s just a bloody silly TV show where losers and idiots get together to make some quick bucks and minor exposure. I also know the channels and the producers are delighted that the racial attacks happened, that many people are offended, that people like Tony Blair and Gordon Brown have got sucked into the debate, because this gives them additional eyeballs, which is what must matter to them. So by writing another piece, I am falling right into their well laid booby trap.

However, I really think what’s transpired in that house is a crucible of what goes on in the world out there, the racism that exists in the western nations, and its impact on all of us, whether we live in the west or travel to those parts. It’s a bad rat we always bury under the carpet, and this Shetty incident has helped bring it out on the discussion table. Truth is, racism in some form or another has always existed not just from the ‘whites’ but from the ‘browns’ and the ‘blacks’ too. We all know, for example, how much communalism thrives within India.

What has always pissed me off, is that while we non goras are quite naked in this matter, with the goras, it’s usually concealed behind the veil of politeness and civility, the many ‘thank yous’ and the ‘my apologies’. Which then makes it far more deplorable and sinister. The people inside Big Brother’s house have chosen to come out in the open, and now it’s out there for the world to see. The silly apology from Jade Goody cuts no ice with me, sorry!

Sure, racial bias against people from the sub continent soared after 9/11 and the ‘Bangalorisation’ of IT jobs, that is a fact. But having travelled abroad on various occasions, I have to say the resentment was always there, only now there’s fear and insecurity too. I have been the subject of many underhand biases during my travels to the US and the UK, and I will list a few here to underline how demeaning they can be. At the Greyhound Bus booking counter in NYC, I was screamed at for ‘asking too many questions’. At a pub in London, I was deliberately served badly cos they wanted only whites inside. I was denied a better room in a hotel in London, despite paying the normal fare, because those are reserved for the whites. (The browns are allotted dingy rooms, I learnt from a migrant housemaid.) And my experiences in the underground trains are far too many and too sad to narrate. And I am sure a whole lot of us have felt discriminated against, overtly or subtly, at some time or another. Of course, I admit, generalisation is always fraught with peril, there are countless good people every where, but that doesn’t diminish the broad reality, does it?

And what upsets me then, is when the goras come over to our land, we revere them, suck up to them, and usually go out of our way to be helpful and friendly. Waiters and chefs at five star hotels are known to go full-on for the goras at the cost of us unimportant Indians, call it reverse discrimination if you might.

So will the Shilpa Shetty episode on a silly game show change all this? Of course not. If racial bias is seeped deep into our veins, we can’t purge it in a hurry, can we? BUT, the ugly controversy has triggered a huge, much needed debate, and it’s time we had it out in the open. The incident is also putting pressure on British leaders to come down hard and strong on racists, so who knows, maybe we could see some positive action.

Meanwhile, thanks for your warm thankyous and sorrys and the half smiles, but if deep down inside the colour of my skin makes your skin crawl, then bollocks to you, mate.

Have you been shot yet?

A friend sent this passage across from Lost Light by Michael Connelly. A killer one, this.

"I'm a believer in the single bullet theory. You can fall in love and make love many times but there is only one bullet with your name etched on the side. And if you are lucky enough to be shot with that bullet then the wound never heals.
Roy Lindell might have had Martha Gessler's name on a bullet. I don't know. What I do know is that Eleanor Wish had been my bullet. She had pierced me through and through. There were other women before and other women since but the wound she left was always there. It would not heal right. I was still bleeding and I knew I would always bleed for her. That was just the way it had to be. There is no end of things in the heart."

Marry outside your religion

(Warning: Am writing this piece sipping on loads of extra strong beer, so if this sounds like an emotional jerk-off, it probably is.)

I am often accused of being fanatically pseudo secular, and truth be told, am quite proud of this tag. Every time I hear a Hindu friend is marrying a Muslim or a Christian or a Bawa or vice versa, I feel elated. Not because I consider myself to be a flag bearer of India’s alleged secularism, but because I have come to the conclusion that the religion-busting friend of mine may be helping in her/his small way in sorting out a very serious global problem.

It’s a no brainer that Mother Earth’s greatest bete noire, the root of terror, is the religious divide, which seems to be deepening with every passing day. Once, on the night of bomb blasts in Mumbai, after a few Patiala pegs, a few of us friends decided the best way out is for the world to divide itself into three hemispheres, based on major religions, and then to live and let live thereafter. Once the nasha came down, we realised how regressive such a step would be, and that it isn’t workable either. We’ll simply find a different set of enemies to wage wars against. In the Hindu hemisphere, the ‘upper castes’ would continue their strife with the ‘lower castes’, and in the Islamic zone, the Shias and the Sunnis will be doing ditto, and so on.

Which then brings me to the point: perhaps the best way ahead is we totally do away with all religious divides, build a world where we hate each other for things like snoring, bitching, honking, spitting, whatever, but not over the gods we chose to pray. And we can only arrive at that future, even if it takes hundreds of years to get there, if we marry outside our own communities today. As people mingle and mate freely, with time, religion will become an irrelevant factor.

The bad news, of course, is that this isn’t going to happen in a hurry. Even today, in highly educated wealthy households of urban India, we see a raging desire to marry ‘within our own’. The newspapers are full of reports of crimes against ‘defectors’, and a cursory look at matrimonial ads would tell you how utopian and crazy the thought is.

So, yes, I am daydreaming, I did warn you about the beer. But one thing’s for sure: to all those of you choosing to break the divide, even if you harbour no noble desires of changing the world, and are marrying for love, lust, money, whatever, my salutations. Cheers!

My Indian of The Year: Dr Prannoy Roy

The Indian news channels have been running silly contests on who would be the Indian of the year gone by, and some of the nominees mentioned range from the usual suspects to the ridiculous. So while there are the boring names like Amitabh Bachchan (what exactly has he done for the nation?), Nandan Nilekani (what exactly has he done for the city of Bangalore that’s gone to the dogs after the IT boom?) and Sachin Tendulkar (shouldn’t this ‘boy’ be contemplating gracious retirement?), there’s also Himmesh Reshammiya (are these guys thinking through their bloody noses?).
Ironically, the Indians of 2006, according to me, are the editors of our news channels, guys who preached AND practiced social activism like India has never seen before. And heading that list would be the good Dr Prannoy Roy of NDTV, the channel that led, catalysed and provoked public outrage against gross injustice. If Jessica and Priyadarshini found peace this year, it is mainly due to NDTV’s sustained campaign. I daresay if these guys had kept quiet, the files would still be collecting dust inside our hallowed courtrooms. They have demonstrated the power of the booming media and the burgeoning middle class in a new India that’s still mired in executive lethargy and corruption, and the way forward looks very encouraging.
People say the judiciary is the last hope of this country, I say it’s the media, led by people like Dr Roy.
My only hope for 2007 is that Dr Roy & Co stretch their energies and bandwidth to cover rural India as well, and recognise that the tragedy of a Priyanka Bhotmange is as significant as that of Jessica Lall. (Already witnesses of the Khairlanji murders are being threatened.)
I am planning on sending Dr Roy an e-mail congratulating him, and if you agree with me, leave your name in the comment box below, I will add it to the senders’ list.

Mumbai unsafe for women?
(Wrote this piece for the Mumbai Mirror, in case you missed it.)
The media has gone to town on the New Year night pics shot by a tabloid photographer. Those of a girl being molested at the Gateway. I think these Delhi-based channels have got yet another chance to trash the city as being totally unsafe for the ladies. This sort of story works for them… it’s their opportunity to scream, “Take that Mumbai, how dare you cast aspersions on sadi clean Dilli!” Well, here’s my take on the incident: Any woman who dares to hang around on city streets on a night like that, when, across the country, all the happening joints get taken over by extremely sloshed, sex starved taporis, is asking for trouble. These jerks are out to have a ‘good time’ outdoor (they can’t afford five star soirees), and some of them can, and will, take full advantage of heavy, yelling crowds. Which is why it’s perilous for ladies to be at Connaught Place in Delhi, or at Brigade Road in Bangalore, on December 31. And that’s the case too with the beaches and sea fronts of Mumbai. This is a known fact, which is why most of us keep away from these places as the year turns. Ergo, the reckless, bindaas babe who chose the Gateway to ring 2007 in, must take some responsibility for her foolhardy behaviour. Perhaps that’s the reason she still hasn’t come forth to file charges.